It had been 8 long days since I ate wholesome, home cooked food. I felt like my energy was just being sapped. I felt like a plant withering and shedding all its leaves in the cold dark winter. I felt like a bee sucking water instead of honey, when all the flowers have disappeared.
A lot of activities we do in life is purely based on the pain vs gain principle. You do it if it brings you more gain than pain. Apparently cooking normally brings me more pain than pleasure. All that work in cutting vegetables, cooking, cleaning was simply not worth it. This was fine for 8 days, when I subsisted in the beginning on oil in vegetables in oil..aka curry from a shop. My stomach felt sick and twisted like a wrung cloth! The other days were spent surviving on an apple, banana and a ready to eat chapathi with pickle. In the afternoon at the cafeteria, it would be some cheesy tart, pie or sweetened noodles - lining up the stomach with chocolates as fillers. There was never a sense of being full. I once got up in the middle of the night to get a booster snack, something unthinkable for a sound sleeper like me. Yesterday the pain of the past 7 days made me overeat at an Indian restaurant, where I hogged like a pig on dirt. I then discovered that the food was indeed nothing but dirt when all day I spent with an uneasy stomach.
Enough is enough my mind decided. Ultimately, the pain in surviving without good, healthy food had exceeded the pain taken to cook. I hit the stoves immediately. A busy 70 minutes saw me dishing up some delicacies. Truly, I make no exaggeration when I say I felt like a parched desert wanderer who takes a bath and swig of fresh water in an oasis after nearly dying. In fact, food had always been a major problem, even while I stayed in the land of opportunities. I used to spend days on meagre quantities of fruits and other eatables. Like a moth to the light, I was attracted back to homeland, where there was no necessity to put up a big fight just for 2 square meals a day. How true that we choose our own destiny thanks to the habits and simple pleasures of life, given up for riches and glory.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Hitching the shoe to the feet - an unlikely metaphor!
Marriage is just like buying and wearing shoes. With a bit of imagination and poetic license for prose, it is trivial to understand why.
When I buy shoes, the most important factor for me is comfort. Even if I have to fork out a huge sum, my feet need to feel 'free' and healthy after putting up with the shoe for 10 hours every weekday. Shoes that bite are a strict no-no, though it is said that both the feet and the shoe mould each other to keep one another comfortable over a period of usage. Next is durability and reliability. They need to last me a decent period of time without conking out, like the sole tearing up! The shoes need to look smart and not shoddy. This is more of a passing criteria than an independent factor. If all the other factors are met, it definitely doesn't hurt to have a trendy shoe. However, if the shoe is very stylish, but uncomfortable, then no designer can get my feet to accept the shoe!
In love marriage, the feet falls for the shoe simply because the shoe looks snappy and feels cosy when worn. The feet wears the shoe for short periods of time and thoroughly enjoys the comfort. However, once married (bought), there are unforeseen hurdles ahead. The shoe starts to bite, the toe hurts, the feet stink and cannot breathe. Very rare are the instances when worn shoes can be returned, even in a consumer friendly country like the US :-) (allegory fully intended!). Why did this happen?? Simply because it is hard to judge if the feet would adjust to the shoe and vice-versa, for 10 hrs each day, by just wearing the shoe for 10 minutes each day! Trial version turns out very different from the real-life version. All circumstances are not encountered nor thought of. Even if it turns out there is some discomfort, the thought of parting with such a beautiful shoe is heart breaking!
Live in relationships are like wearing chappals. There are no hassles of the lace to tie. It is easy to slip in and slip out (hahaha..again, allegorical) :-)). The feet don't feel as suffocated nor is there anything firmly keeping the two together. In fact, even if the chappal falls off along the way, there is no telling when it'll be noticed. All this looks fine. But the real challenge is when the going gets tough, the chappal isn't tough enough for a symbiotic protective relationship. When it is freezing out there, when you're treading over leeches, trekking over snow, the feet needs the shoe. In such cases, only a tried and trusted brand would do!!
Finally, in an arranged marriage, one first looks at the cobbler and the kind of shoes he's been producing. One takes a consensus to find out if people who've bought a particular type and brand of shoes have been satisfied. There is a Historical trend comprised of multiple sample points being analyzed to arrive at an informed conclusion. There is obviously a brief moment when the feet does get to try on the shoe - but this is short and fleeting, not at all enough to form a full opinion in the lack of data pertaining to the Historical trend analysis! Not only your feet but your parent's feet also get to try on the shoes (though the size might differ!).
Horoscope of the feet is tallied with that of the foot. This includes dimensions, shape of feet (wide, narrow, etc), shape of shoe (wide, pointed, etc), a time series analysis of the past that predicts for the future how much space the feet need, and how flexible the leather is to accommodate that. Is the shoe made of a kind of leather that is likely to bite feet with dry skin? The feet like to go hiking. Is the shoe capable of withstanding the rigours? What kind of lace is provided... can it tighten to allow speed running and loosen to let the feet breathe?
This is indeed a lot of data collected within a short period of time. The risk appears to be less since one has gone into dissecting the components and structure that make up the shoe, in relation to the anatomy of the feet and its regular activities. All this should make for a rough and tough, reliable shoe, able to protect the feet in rain, shine, snow, wind, and allow total relaxation in the absence of the elements.
Finally, for 100% satisfaction, one needs to become the creator and craft his/her own shoe with the finest leather. But alas, though we create, we're not creators!
When I buy shoes, the most important factor for me is comfort. Even if I have to fork out a huge sum, my feet need to feel 'free' and healthy after putting up with the shoe for 10 hours every weekday. Shoes that bite are a strict no-no, though it is said that both the feet and the shoe mould each other to keep one another comfortable over a period of usage. Next is durability and reliability. They need to last me a decent period of time without conking out, like the sole tearing up! The shoes need to look smart and not shoddy. This is more of a passing criteria than an independent factor. If all the other factors are met, it definitely doesn't hurt to have a trendy shoe. However, if the shoe is very stylish, but uncomfortable, then no designer can get my feet to accept the shoe!
In love marriage, the feet falls for the shoe simply because the shoe looks snappy and feels cosy when worn. The feet wears the shoe for short periods of time and thoroughly enjoys the comfort. However, once married (bought), there are unforeseen hurdles ahead. The shoe starts to bite, the toe hurts, the feet stink and cannot breathe. Very rare are the instances when worn shoes can be returned, even in a consumer friendly country like the US :-) (allegory fully intended!). Why did this happen?? Simply because it is hard to judge if the feet would adjust to the shoe and vice-versa, for 10 hrs each day, by just wearing the shoe for 10 minutes each day! Trial version turns out very different from the real-life version. All circumstances are not encountered nor thought of. Even if it turns out there is some discomfort, the thought of parting with such a beautiful shoe is heart breaking!
Live in relationships are like wearing chappals. There are no hassles of the lace to tie. It is easy to slip in and slip out (hahaha..again, allegorical) :-)). The feet don't feel as suffocated nor is there anything firmly keeping the two together. In fact, even if the chappal falls off along the way, there is no telling when it'll be noticed. All this looks fine. But the real challenge is when the going gets tough, the chappal isn't tough enough for a symbiotic protective relationship. When it is freezing out there, when you're treading over leeches, trekking over snow, the feet needs the shoe. In such cases, only a tried and trusted brand would do!!
Finally, in an arranged marriage, one first looks at the cobbler and the kind of shoes he's been producing. One takes a consensus to find out if people who've bought a particular type and brand of shoes have been satisfied. There is a Historical trend comprised of multiple sample points being analyzed to arrive at an informed conclusion. There is obviously a brief moment when the feet does get to try on the shoe - but this is short and fleeting, not at all enough to form a full opinion in the lack of data pertaining to the Historical trend analysis! Not only your feet but your parent's feet also get to try on the shoes (though the size might differ!).
Horoscope of the feet is tallied with that of the foot. This includes dimensions, shape of feet (wide, narrow, etc), shape of shoe (wide, pointed, etc), a time series analysis of the past that predicts for the future how much space the feet need, and how flexible the leather is to accommodate that. Is the shoe made of a kind of leather that is likely to bite feet with dry skin? The feet like to go hiking. Is the shoe capable of withstanding the rigours? What kind of lace is provided... can it tighten to allow speed running and loosen to let the feet breathe?
This is indeed a lot of data collected within a short period of time. The risk appears to be less since one has gone into dissecting the components and structure that make up the shoe, in relation to the anatomy of the feet and its regular activities. All this should make for a rough and tough, reliable shoe, able to protect the feet in rain, shine, snow, wind, and allow total relaxation in the absence of the elements.
Finally, for 100% satisfaction, one needs to become the creator and craft his/her own shoe with the finest leather. But alas, though we create, we're not creators!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
.
The title of this blog is barely visible. One needs to concentrate and be fully aware to notice it. Yet it exists, unobtrusively. It is a '.' (dot). Dimensionless and inconspicuous. It can be thought of as being the composition of every single letter or symbol that is printed on paper or screen. When you focus on the letter 'a' for instance, you only see it as 'a' and not as a continuous stream of multiple - infinite - dots. Once the form is noticed, the formless dot disappears. But without the formless dot, it is not possible to create the various forms of writing. The dot in this case becomes what is called the 'adhisthana' - the foundation. The vice versa is interesting too. Once you notice all this is nothing but a series of dots, you then only see dots. Awareness can shift between the form and the formless effortlessly. The dot which is dimensionless is beyond dimensions of space (obviously).
This whole analogy is exactly the maya concept of existence in delusion. Brahman or the unmanifested is like this dot, dimensionless - in fact, beyond space and time too. When creation manifests, it simply becomes the world of numerous forms and figures. This again is explained by the analogy of letters of symbols being formed from a dot. Though always in existence, it is rarely perceived due to a shifted awareness caused by the mind that focus on experiences of the senses and thoughts. For instance, one focuses merely on the words, the meaning of the letter, the script, flow of thoughts in this sentence and so on, without ever going into the core - how each of them came into existence. Once one goes on the other side of maya, it is still possible to see the world as it exists, but it will not be seen independent of its foundation, the brahman. The dream will not disappear but the dreamer becomes aware that it is all his own creation.
This whole analogy is exactly the maya concept of existence in delusion. Brahman or the unmanifested is like this dot, dimensionless - in fact, beyond space and time too. When creation manifests, it simply becomes the world of numerous forms and figures. This again is explained by the analogy of letters of symbols being formed from a dot. Though always in existence, it is rarely perceived due to a shifted awareness caused by the mind that focus on experiences of the senses and thoughts. For instance, one focuses merely on the words, the meaning of the letter, the script, flow of thoughts in this sentence and so on, without ever going into the core - how each of them came into existence. Once one goes on the other side of maya, it is still possible to see the world as it exists, but it will not be seen independent of its foundation, the brahman. The dream will not disappear but the dreamer becomes aware that it is all his own creation.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Slipping in and out
...of consciousness... coming back to life now and then...
Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but
I took a heavenly ride through one silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life
These are lyrics from 'Coming back to life' by Pink Floyd. It is so appropriate to my life as its being lived out now. I feel like a small speck being tossed around by the waves of life. I know not where I'm going. I have vague distant memories of where people tell me I come from. Now and then I have glimpses of what I'm supposed to be doing in my life. I'm told what and who I'm supposed to be. All this makes no sense. For a human being it will. Who started to put the idea into this head that I'm human? Who started to dislodge this mistaken idea?
Hey you, standing in the road
Always doing what youre told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?
Hey you, dont tell me theres no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.
This wall that is spoken of is a mental barrier. The wall is too high for most of us simply because we feel uncomfortable living in completely empty space. Cause without confines we feel that there is nothing we can call our own. If we think there's somebody or someone beyond the wall who can help us, we're mistaken. In togetherness we stand, sit and do everything just the way it should be, divided, we're as good as minutae... always struggling.
Run, rabbit, run
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Dont sit down, its time to dig another one
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.
For, we're all but rabbits digging hole after hole. Digging, filling, filling, digging. There's no end. Just cause the rabbit next hole has a bigger hole. Just cause it works harder and goes deeper. Deep into its own grave.
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
There's no time when the secret doesn't exist. There's no time when its too early, but there's always that its too late. Cry for the moon, but know the dark side is your own dark mind. Shine on through till the next moment, revelling in the craze of reflected light, like a diamond that knows no joy but to reflect everything that surrounds it, in a complex fashion unfathomable!
Pink floyd.. they've gone through all the deep complex thoughts most of us go through.. yet, they're enigmas, cause there's beauty in the way they express themselves and strike a resonant cord with all of creation striving for perfection!
Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but
I took a heavenly ride through one silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life
These are lyrics from 'Coming back to life' by Pink Floyd. It is so appropriate to my life as its being lived out now. I feel like a small speck being tossed around by the waves of life. I know not where I'm going. I have vague distant memories of where people tell me I come from. Now and then I have glimpses of what I'm supposed to be doing in my life. I'm told what and who I'm supposed to be. All this makes no sense. For a human being it will. Who started to put the idea into this head that I'm human? Who started to dislodge this mistaken idea?
Hey you, standing in the road
Always doing what youre told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?
Hey you, dont tell me theres no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.
This wall that is spoken of is a mental barrier. The wall is too high for most of us simply because we feel uncomfortable living in completely empty space. Cause without confines we feel that there is nothing we can call our own. If we think there's somebody or someone beyond the wall who can help us, we're mistaken. In togetherness we stand, sit and do everything just the way it should be, divided, we're as good as minutae... always struggling.
Run, rabbit, run
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Dont sit down, its time to dig another one
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.
For, we're all but rabbits digging hole after hole. Digging, filling, filling, digging. There's no end. Just cause the rabbit next hole has a bigger hole. Just cause it works harder and goes deeper. Deep into its own grave.
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
There's no time when the secret doesn't exist. There's no time when its too early, but there's always that its too late. Cry for the moon, but know the dark side is your own dark mind. Shine on through till the next moment, revelling in the craze of reflected light, like a diamond that knows no joy but to reflect everything that surrounds it, in a complex fashion unfathomable!
Pink floyd.. they've gone through all the deep complex thoughts most of us go through.. yet, they're enigmas, cause there's beauty in the way they express themselves and strike a resonant cord with all of creation striving for perfection!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Effect of food on the mind
There is a definite link, as I experience time and again. Yet, like a fool I overeat or eat junk food most of the time. Now is a rare instance when it's been 6 hours since I had anything to eat. I am not hungry now, not full either, but feel quite satisfied. As in all things in life, this is a mental game. A few years back I used to watch what hunger really is. It is nothing but the mind creating an urge for filling the stomach, an urge that goes beyond what the body actually needs. For most of us who do not indulge in heavy physical work, the body really needs only 1/3rd of what we consume as food. In fact it is proven (and of course intuitive!) that feeding oneself less than what's considered 'normal' prolongs the life span of cells & delaying ageing. Why is that so hard to believe.. when it's obvious that giving every single cell in the body less work than it needs to do should make them more efficient? Is it because we as humans tend to believe our efficiency is at peak when we're over burdened?
There is a reason why most major religions include fasting as a necessary act of purification both mental and physical. Here, when I'm away from home it is indeed very hard to eat healthy. The food that I eat makes me nauseated at times - for instance greasy pizzas, cheese filled pot roasts.. the list is yuck in terms of healthy mind-body, but tasty for the tongue! Today I'm observing my own state in this experiment - the mind is able to think very clearly, there are no random thoughts, there is peace, a sense of being an intelligent being and so on. As I write this blog, the thoughts are flowing very smoothly like a stream that's used to doing what it does best - flow! It does of course help that I had an afternoon nap of 3 hours that totally boosted the energy of this time-space coordinate. That sleep was amazing... there was such a great feeling of flying.. of being flight rather than an object in flight :-). During my periods of reducing food consumption, I'd also noticed that together with a bit of silence and contemplation, the clarity of thought is so great that you are able to take decisions even on topics that you know nothing about. For instance, when you're in an area where you need to choose between 3 roads... in such a state you end up making the right choice at a rate that disproves mere coincidences. As it is widely known in the world of duality, everything, each minute object is coloured by gunas or qualities classified into sattva, rajas and tamas, or more commonly good or bad. When one eats sattvic food, for instance fruits, the energy concentrated in the body-mind becomes refined enabling one to drawing closer towards killing the ego-mind and opening up infinite possibilities. Thus, the breathing which again is intimately linked to the mind becomes very deep and rhythmic as well. With the stomach not over working trying to digest food, abdomenal breathing becomes natural.
I hope to ensure this strict regimen, but discipline is lacking. Its hard to come by in a foreign country, far away from home with lots of restrictions! But, I'll keep striving...
There is a reason why most major religions include fasting as a necessary act of purification both mental and physical. Here, when I'm away from home it is indeed very hard to eat healthy. The food that I eat makes me nauseated at times - for instance greasy pizzas, cheese filled pot roasts.. the list is yuck in terms of healthy mind-body, but tasty for the tongue! Today I'm observing my own state in this experiment - the mind is able to think very clearly, there are no random thoughts, there is peace, a sense of being an intelligent being and so on. As I write this blog, the thoughts are flowing very smoothly like a stream that's used to doing what it does best - flow! It does of course help that I had an afternoon nap of 3 hours that totally boosted the energy of this time-space coordinate. That sleep was amazing... there was such a great feeling of flying.. of being flight rather than an object in flight :-). During my periods of reducing food consumption, I'd also noticed that together with a bit of silence and contemplation, the clarity of thought is so great that you are able to take decisions even on topics that you know nothing about. For instance, when you're in an area where you need to choose between 3 roads... in such a state you end up making the right choice at a rate that disproves mere coincidences. As it is widely known in the world of duality, everything, each minute object is coloured by gunas or qualities classified into sattva, rajas and tamas, or more commonly good or bad. When one eats sattvic food, for instance fruits, the energy concentrated in the body-mind becomes refined enabling one to drawing closer towards killing the ego-mind and opening up infinite possibilities. Thus, the breathing which again is intimately linked to the mind becomes very deep and rhythmic as well. With the stomach not over working trying to digest food, abdomenal breathing becomes natural.
I hope to ensure this strict regimen, but discipline is lacking. Its hard to come by in a foreign country, far away from home with lots of restrictions! But, I'll keep striving...
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Suffering due to computers :-(
I am currently suffering a lot from repititive stress injury. Why did it happen to me instead of the zillions who're working just fine with computers? I really don't know.. it's not that I work too many hours or in crappier conditions than others. It's just like any disease that strikes few people & leaves few unharmed.
When I rotate my right wrist, I hear too many sounds.. ones that my left wrist doesn't make.. & sounds that I know are due to this reason cause I feel distinctly a loss of flexibility & rigidity in movement that is unnatural. I have a small bump on the top of my wrist.. a swelling that has appeared very recently. Sometimes I feel a pain in my arm and beyond the elbow as well. Sometimes my hand quivers when I hold a cup after working all day at the computer. Many a times my mind wants to work & produce results.. but my body does not comply. Then all I do is sit idly & look outside.
I've tried many positions, read up a bit about ergonomics. But its not been of much use. Nothing seems to really help like taking a semi-permanent or permanent break.
My entire future may be at stake due to this injury. I know there isn't really any cure. Most people cant even imagine that computers can do this to you. Most doctors think its preposterous. I may never be able to write blogs. Never again check emails. Never keep in touch with friends. Never be able to work or earn a decent salary. Never buy anything online or improve my knowledge. Its pitiable that ebooks are coming up. That assignments even for school kids are nowadays all computer related. Its worse in advanced countries where the move is to even use computers for buying groceries to watching favourite tv programs online. In fact, I can hardly think of any profession that doesn't use computers. Even doctors these days are forced to read voluminous tomes on the computer. It is only due to lack of facilities like in a third world country that some profession might not mandate use of computers!
Then again, all this may sound like exaggeration. Maybe it is to a certain extent when I prophesize a gloomy future due to this ailment. But I do know my arms and hands really ache & nerves tinge even as I type this.
I just hope the day is not too far when speech recognition which has been going on for decades is finally perfected. I just hope we can control the computer without making contact with the keyboard or mouse. Just like Tom Cruise controls the computer in Minority report (or is it MI?). But I'm no Tom Cruise, life is no movie & my faith in technology hasn't kept pace with my imagination about what it should do in future. It is eroded when I see that inspite of computers being around for decades, they're yet to make ergonomic I/O devices. It took many years just to get an optical mouse that doesn't need cleaning like carpet with dust. At the high end, there are many advances, but in a company like mine we still use mouse with cords, with balls that need cleaning (LOL)... there's a big disconnect between mass produced consumer goods at reasonable rates & high end research that is done merely to get grants...anyway.. this is digressing from the main topic :-)
In the end, this is just a dream, like everything else. Only way to avoid a nightmare is to dream consciously of pleasant events...!
When I rotate my right wrist, I hear too many sounds.. ones that my left wrist doesn't make.. & sounds that I know are due to this reason cause I feel distinctly a loss of flexibility & rigidity in movement that is unnatural. I have a small bump on the top of my wrist.. a swelling that has appeared very recently. Sometimes I feel a pain in my arm and beyond the elbow as well. Sometimes my hand quivers when I hold a cup after working all day at the computer. Many a times my mind wants to work & produce results.. but my body does not comply. Then all I do is sit idly & look outside.
I've tried many positions, read up a bit about ergonomics. But its not been of much use. Nothing seems to really help like taking a semi-permanent or permanent break.
My entire future may be at stake due to this injury. I know there isn't really any cure. Most people cant even imagine that computers can do this to you. Most doctors think its preposterous. I may never be able to write blogs. Never again check emails. Never keep in touch with friends. Never be able to work or earn a decent salary. Never buy anything online or improve my knowledge. Its pitiable that ebooks are coming up. That assignments even for school kids are nowadays all computer related. Its worse in advanced countries where the move is to even use computers for buying groceries to watching favourite tv programs online. In fact, I can hardly think of any profession that doesn't use computers. Even doctors these days are forced to read voluminous tomes on the computer. It is only due to lack of facilities like in a third world country that some profession might not mandate use of computers!
Then again, all this may sound like exaggeration. Maybe it is to a certain extent when I prophesize a gloomy future due to this ailment. But I do know my arms and hands really ache & nerves tinge even as I type this.
I just hope the day is not too far when speech recognition which has been going on for decades is finally perfected. I just hope we can control the computer without making contact with the keyboard or mouse. Just like Tom Cruise controls the computer in Minority report (or is it MI?). But I'm no Tom Cruise, life is no movie & my faith in technology hasn't kept pace with my imagination about what it should do in future. It is eroded when I see that inspite of computers being around for decades, they're yet to make ergonomic I/O devices. It took many years just to get an optical mouse that doesn't need cleaning like carpet with dust. At the high end, there are many advances, but in a company like mine we still use mouse with cords, with balls that need cleaning (LOL)... there's a big disconnect between mass produced consumer goods at reasonable rates & high end research that is done merely to get grants...anyway.. this is digressing from the main topic :-)
In the end, this is just a dream, like everything else. Only way to avoid a nightmare is to dream consciously of pleasant events...!
Friday, October 20, 2006
Barriers
I'm facing a major barrier in my life. No, its not any wall. Nor is it any mental or physical block. It's the great language barrier. Most of my friends out here converse in Hindi, supposedly the national language in India. They expect me to know it well enough to converse fluently. Little do they know its dismal penetration down south. We hardly studied anything beyond the alphabets. Hardly saw Hindi movies. Given my poor language capabilities, I've been finding it tough to fluently participate in rapid fire conversations ever since my regional engineering college days. I've had to forsake many many friendships due to this handicap. No matter what, the best jokes, best secrets in any conversation will rarely be clarified or translated. I've tried to change it, occasional efforts to master Hindi. But , it never happens... no concentrated efforts, nor friends totally engrossed in Hindi for continuous company. It seems to happen more when you're away from home.. whether home is defined as the country or the state! Happens all the time when people are in a big group & you're the odd one out. Happened during my YHAI trek to the Himalayas. Wonder when it will stop. Wonder when humans will master the art of telepathy, which by the way I know is true, nothing beyond imagination. Till then, no progress is real progress.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Deepavali again!
Here it is.. that time of the year when you NEED to burst all the crackers you want, throw advice to the wind and just have a ball, without caring for neighbours, environmentalists or child labourers - all in this context only. On their own, these issues merrit enough attention to last a lifetime of course.
I'm much less lucky this year. I can do all the above. But, if I did, I would be in jail for sure. Because, I'm in a country where people follow rules, rules made not by Indians, but by the white man who once reigned superior over our country. Nevertheless, celebration in spirit will not stop. On the cards is an extravagant pot luck dinner, puja and few 'lights' only crackers that go high up into the sky, at a friends place. It will be interesting for sure. Somehow, this place doesn't seem as far removed from 'home' as the US. It is largely due to the high density of population in towns.. some what similar to Indian cities. Plus the huge Asian influence and plenty of Asians all around. 'Curry' is indeed more common here than 'steak' :-)
Wish you all a very merry Deepavali!
May the crackers light up your life,
And the flame turn to cinder all troubles,
Leaving nothing but traces of smoke,
That disappear into nothingness,
Blown away by the winds of the future,
Freshly brewed, in its own moment!
I'm much less lucky this year. I can do all the above. But, if I did, I would be in jail for sure. Because, I'm in a country where people follow rules, rules made not by Indians, but by the white man who once reigned superior over our country. Nevertheless, celebration in spirit will not stop. On the cards is an extravagant pot luck dinner, puja and few 'lights' only crackers that go high up into the sky, at a friends place. It will be interesting for sure. Somehow, this place doesn't seem as far removed from 'home' as the US. It is largely due to the high density of population in towns.. some what similar to Indian cities. Plus the huge Asian influence and plenty of Asians all around. 'Curry' is indeed more common here than 'steak' :-)
Wish you all a very merry Deepavali!
May the crackers light up your life,
And the flame turn to cinder all troubles,
Leaving nothing but traces of smoke,
That disappear into nothingness,
Blown away by the winds of the future,
Freshly brewed, in its own moment!
The wise one sayeth...
"When you learn to swim in the deep ocean, you enjoy the shallow pool as well"
This pretty much sums up my personality and how I live.
It's important to note the opposite as well "When you learn to swim in the shallow pool, you will be frightened to death of the deep ocean" which is how most of the people live life...learning to swim in the shallow pool!
This pretty much sums up my personality and how I live.
It's important to note the opposite as well "When you learn to swim in the shallow pool, you will be frightened to death of the deep ocean" which is how most of the people live life...learning to swim in the shallow pool!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
The great leveller
I had many friends in school and college who used to really struggle to get through even the simplest of subjects. Today, they're all doing extremely well, which is rather surprising. In college, perhaps not all subjects were easy enough or the students didn't pay enough attention. But in primary and high school, I got to observe some of these people in great detail over a number of years and have to claim my judgement was quite accurate. There were others who were really smart all through, but they're doing equally well in most cases. Not far far better as expected.
So, there is a great leveller that has worked over the period of time, like the storm that flattens everything in its path, big or small, beautiful or ugly. It is attitude, hard work and to some extent fate (don't want to get into that debate about fate vs free will now) that must have brought about this change. I also attribute this to the IT, ITES and other such industries that provide umpteen opportunities without really needing much of creativity or lateral thinking. They need solid workers, dedicated to specialized tasks, like a manufacturing industry robot in the assembly line. I've heard of a few cases that stand out, of people known to us who took 10 yrs to complete their phd. They're the ones now heading Education & research depts. at global IT majors! Phew!
This scenario is a huge contrast to our previous generation. When jobs were limted to Govt. organizations and opportunities abroad and awareness levels were much lower, differentiation between the bright and not so bright would be clearly seen. The smart ones got into Govt. R&D jobs or academic institutions for teaching. The not so fortunate ones got enrolled into more mundane professions.
Today however, most people blindly pursue engineering to come out as zombies and get into run of the mill software jobs. That is where the beginning of the end of differentiation of intellectual levels starts. Other factors work their magic over a long period... things like taking the right decisions, EQ, being opportunistic, knowing the right people, belonging to the right caste/region and so on.
What is the conclusion then? People must evaluate their intellectual level and get into suitable professions. Today nobody needs to despair. Even the dumbest can get to be the CEO of a top company. The smartest might end up writing lines of code all his life, impacting some obsolete legacy system somewhere.
Life... the great leveller :-)
So, there is a great leveller that has worked over the period of time, like the storm that flattens everything in its path, big or small, beautiful or ugly. It is attitude, hard work and to some extent fate (don't want to get into that debate about fate vs free will now) that must have brought about this change. I also attribute this to the IT, ITES and other such industries that provide umpteen opportunities without really needing much of creativity or lateral thinking. They need solid workers, dedicated to specialized tasks, like a manufacturing industry robot in the assembly line. I've heard of a few cases that stand out, of people known to us who took 10 yrs to complete their phd. They're the ones now heading Education & research depts. at global IT majors! Phew!
This scenario is a huge contrast to our previous generation. When jobs were limted to Govt. organizations and opportunities abroad and awareness levels were much lower, differentiation between the bright and not so bright would be clearly seen. The smart ones got into Govt. R&D jobs or academic institutions for teaching. The not so fortunate ones got enrolled into more mundane professions.
Today however, most people blindly pursue engineering to come out as zombies and get into run of the mill software jobs. That is where the beginning of the end of differentiation of intellectual levels starts. Other factors work their magic over a long period... things like taking the right decisions, EQ, being opportunistic, knowing the right people, belonging to the right caste/region and so on.
What is the conclusion then? People must evaluate their intellectual level and get into suitable professions. Today nobody needs to despair. Even the dumbest can get to be the CEO of a top company. The smartest might end up writing lines of code all his life, impacting some obsolete legacy system somewhere.
Life... the great leveller :-)
Saturday, September 23, 2006
New dreams...
The first few days seemed like a dream. I had absolutely no hard memory of my previous life in India. My home, family, friends and everything else seemed like clouds in the sky that are visible, yet not tangible somehow. Maybe it was the jet lag, but I doubt it. I guess this is the same feeling most people experience when they travel to new places. To say the least, it is blissful and exactly what liberation feels like. Just that liberation doesn't depend on any physical movement of this sort. Before new memories and connections get formed, before old memories come haunting back, this is going to continue and I'll be enjoying it totally :-)
Friday, September 15, 2006
Potpourri of experiences
This is my last post from Bangalore for a while, as I head to fulfill the great Indian dream of representing the country abroad, going ‘onsite’… a term more common than ondu, eradu, mooru in Bangalore today!
Here’s what I look forward to in UK:
Great work & a lot of learning
Good quality of life, including air
Short commute
Great pubs, restaurants, dance clubs and hang out places
Week end travel
Holiday travel (if any) to Europe or other distant places
Lack of too many people, thereby silence
Get to make some moolah
New experiences, new people, new sights, sounds, smells and thoughts basically sum these up!
Here’s what I’ll miss about Bangalore:
Family and friends
Good, home made food
Long hours playing tennis in the mid day sun
It goes without saying that these are for the most part mutually exclusive lists.
When I summarize thus, there’s a stark contrast and it appears that Bangalore has almost nothing to offer. This is true, not an exaggeration. Other than family, friends and a ‘comfort zone’ there is nothing much else here. But these things weigh in heavily when you stay away for long periods (ever heard about settled abroad phrase?). Right now, there’s a very different feeling compared to my past when I was based in the US. Now the base is India, and that makes a huge difference. Thankfully, there’s no such thing as settling in one place for the global traveler in me.
Here’s what I look forward to in UK:
Great work & a lot of learning
Good quality of life, including air
Short commute
Great pubs, restaurants, dance clubs and hang out places
Week end travel
Holiday travel (if any) to Europe or other distant places
Lack of too many people, thereby silence
Get to make some moolah
New experiences, new people, new sights, sounds, smells and thoughts basically sum these up!
Here’s what I’ll miss about Bangalore:
Family and friends
Good, home made food
Long hours playing tennis in the mid day sun
It goes without saying that these are for the most part mutually exclusive lists.
When I summarize thus, there’s a stark contrast and it appears that Bangalore has almost nothing to offer. This is true, not an exaggeration. Other than family, friends and a ‘comfort zone’ there is nothing much else here. But these things weigh in heavily when you stay away for long periods (ever heard about settled abroad phrase?). Right now, there’s a very different feeling compared to my past when I was based in the US. Now the base is India, and that makes a huge difference. Thankfully, there’s no such thing as settling in one place for the global traveler in me.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Times they are a changin'
There used to be a time when friendships meant spending time together – hanging out, going out or simply walking around. These days most of my friends are either engaged or married. Thus, they hardly find even 5 minutes a week to catch up. This is an alarming trend in my view. Being totally closeted with only 1 person all the time is fine for a while. It may even be necessary in the beginning – a necessary evil. It might be an addiction to 1 person, a direct consequence of being in love. But eventually, there is the necessity to bond with a larger set of people, to expand your horizons, ideas and experiences.
Some of my friends might think the same fate awaits me once I get hitched. I know that will not be the case! In fact, I do have other friends who socialize as a couple, not in isolation. That’s definitely the way to be!
I’ve observed this habit among most couples who’re newly coupled. In the hostel too, the guy who used to be in love with the girl took on shades of the girl. He missed out totally on every other happening in the guy’s block. He knew all about what’s going on in the girl’s block (GB)!
This might be common among couples in love or doing the courtship routine. That is fine, since it only lasts for a brief period. But for married folks, this disturbing trend cannot continue for long, since marriage is a lifetime event. In my parents’ days, I’d observed that there was a healthy socializing among friends. Today’s world has changed perhaps for the worse. Maybe girls today are too demanding and attention seeking. It could be the result of long hours spent away from home either working or commuting. It could be the influence of Western society, where people have to actually ‘work’ to keep their marriage intact. It could be all that bull shit about ‘personal space and time’. What ever it is, the dynamics are against traditional Indian set up of society.
Another incidence showcasing the same is: How many of you actually call friends & family before visiting them? It’s fine to call to check if they’re home. But calling to check if they’re ‘free’ to meet… that’s unheard of. Guests used to always be welcome at home. In my house, they still are, even with changing times. The surprise element of meeting a long lost friend who just turns up at home is gone. Thanks in part to SMS, cell phones, Orkut & such non personal means of networking.
Some of my friends might think the same fate awaits me once I get hitched. I know that will not be the case! In fact, I do have other friends who socialize as a couple, not in isolation. That’s definitely the way to be!
I’ve observed this habit among most couples who’re newly coupled. In the hostel too, the guy who used to be in love with the girl took on shades of the girl. He missed out totally on every other happening in the guy’s block. He knew all about what’s going on in the girl’s block (GB)!
This might be common among couples in love or doing the courtship routine. That is fine, since it only lasts for a brief period. But for married folks, this disturbing trend cannot continue for long, since marriage is a lifetime event. In my parents’ days, I’d observed that there was a healthy socializing among friends. Today’s world has changed perhaps for the worse. Maybe girls today are too demanding and attention seeking. It could be the result of long hours spent away from home either working or commuting. It could be the influence of Western society, where people have to actually ‘work’ to keep their marriage intact. It could be all that bull shit about ‘personal space and time’. What ever it is, the dynamics are against traditional Indian set up of society.
Another incidence showcasing the same is: How many of you actually call friends & family before visiting them? It’s fine to call to check if they’re home. But calling to check if they’re ‘free’ to meet… that’s unheard of. Guests used to always be welcome at home. In my house, they still are, even with changing times. The surprise element of meeting a long lost friend who just turns up at home is gone. Thanks in part to SMS, cell phones, Orkut & such non personal means of networking.
A post a day keeps the blues at bay!
A lot of friends have been reading my blog. They had nice things to say & urged me to continue writing, though I don't think a lot of posts make sense to the majority :-). I would like to see all my friends start a blog - it doesn't matter if one is a talented writer. A blog helps to keep in touch both with the physical & mental coordinates.
I never knew many of them even knew about the existence of my blog! I can only track no. of visitors per day & guess about who might be reading it, based on some statistics. The only way to make it interactive is if people start posting comments. I also took some pains to ensure this remains semi-anonymous. Those who know me personally know about my blog. But its unlikely somebody searching for me out of the blue will chance upon this! I dont think my identity is important, just the ideas & their effective communication to an audience. Though, I can safely say that I write nothing that I wouldn't want to own up to!
I never knew many of them even knew about the existence of my blog! I can only track no. of visitors per day & guess about who might be reading it, based on some statistics. The only way to make it interactive is if people start posting comments. I also took some pains to ensure this remains semi-anonymous. Those who know me personally know about my blog. But its unlikely somebody searching for me out of the blue will chance upon this! I dont think my identity is important, just the ideas & their effective communication to an audience. Though, I can safely say that I write nothing that I wouldn't want to own up to!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Dreams that can never come true
These are days when the dream character is engrossed & believes in being a part of the dream. This post is the time when the character is writing, yet knowing the existence of a mere dream of which he’s a part of. This is cryptic as can be. Yet, to the knowers, it makes complete sense.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Ganesha says…
Ganesha says ‘a travel is on the cards for some, health & marriage for some others & few students might need to study’ – thus goes most weekly astrological predictions in papers & magazines … funny to say the least :-)
Well, for me the 1st prediction is coming true… finally! After returning from the US almost 3 years back, I never wanted to come back ‘for good’. There’s no fun in being static, either in the US or in India, especially at this age when the whole world begs to be visited! Nor is there any fun earning just a pittance in India. Cutting to the facts, I’m off to Bristol, UK next week & will be gone till the end of the year. There is no saying that it won’t get extended till the end of 2007!
All said & done, there is a slight reluctance too, to let go of things so familiar & venture into the unknown, even though things are easily 'known' in today’s age of the internet. This reminds me of the story of the crab that just wouldn’t let go of the rock it was hanging on to, missing out on the joy ride with the river! This crab is hanging on only very mildly & the currents are strong. Fortunately, other adventurers have expressed delight in their exploits… so lots to look forward to :-)
For those of you lucky & bored enough to read this, I’ll still be available via good old gmail. Adios (very soon!).
Well, for me the 1st prediction is coming true… finally! After returning from the US almost 3 years back, I never wanted to come back ‘for good’. There’s no fun in being static, either in the US or in India, especially at this age when the whole world begs to be visited! Nor is there any fun earning just a pittance in India. Cutting to the facts, I’m off to Bristol, UK next week & will be gone till the end of the year. There is no saying that it won’t get extended till the end of 2007!
All said & done, there is a slight reluctance too, to let go of things so familiar & venture into the unknown, even though things are easily 'known' in today’s age of the internet. This reminds me of the story of the crab that just wouldn’t let go of the rock it was hanging on to, missing out on the joy ride with the river! This crab is hanging on only very mildly & the currents are strong. Fortunately, other adventurers have expressed delight in their exploits… so lots to look forward to :-)
For those of you lucky & bored enough to read this, I’ll still be available via good old gmail. Adios (very soon!).
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Best plans are never made
A good traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving - Lao Tze.
This pretty much summarizes my life these days. I don't know where I'm headed. All I know is that I'm enjoying this moment.
This pretty much summarizes my life these days. I don't know where I'm headed. All I know is that I'm enjoying this moment.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
The answer my friend, is blowin in the wind!
Yet, I'm unable to receive it.
It's been ages since I posted anything to my blog! The point to note is majority of my previous posts came about when I was bored at work! The most creative of them were conceived when I was least busy with work & free to dream.
Now, things have changed completely. For the better in terms of a long term career, but in terms of creative posts, that might take a back seat :-). It's amazing how there's a lot to say when the mind is empty, but when you're occupied, then thinking about what to say leads to the writer's block. It's hard to imagine how daily syndicate columnists, especially cartoonists come up with terrific material under pressure.
Also, now a days I’m back to being a prisoner of the mind for the most part. Gone are the wonderful poetry & realizations, simply because no longer am I pondering or seeking them. They can be brought back, but this phase of life requires that I be just like a ‘normal’ human being with desires & ambitions. So be it. Just like everything else, this too is a phase & it too will pass for the greater good.
It's been ages since I posted anything to my blog! The point to note is majority of my previous posts came about when I was bored at work! The most creative of them were conceived when I was least busy with work & free to dream.
Now, things have changed completely. For the better in terms of a long term career, but in terms of creative posts, that might take a back seat :-). It's amazing how there's a lot to say when the mind is empty, but when you're occupied, then thinking about what to say leads to the writer's block. It's hard to imagine how daily syndicate columnists, especially cartoonists come up with terrific material under pressure.
Also, now a days I’m back to being a prisoner of the mind for the most part. Gone are the wonderful poetry & realizations, simply because no longer am I pondering or seeking them. They can be brought back, but this phase of life requires that I be just like a ‘normal’ human being with desires & ambitions. So be it. Just like everything else, this too is a phase & it too will pass for the greater good.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
If you ever knew
If you ever knew,
Who I am
Where I come from
Where I go,
Would you still talk to me?
Would you still look at me,
The way you do?
If I ever knew,
Who I am,
Where I come from,
Where I go,
I would no longer
Talk the way I do
Walk the way I do
Behave the way I'm supposed to.
In this very knowing,
Let us come together
In a world,
Where looking, talking,
Is nothing but useless!
Where seeing is not believing,
Where believing is not seeing!
Cause, when you know,
I know!
When it is known,
You and me become unknown!
Who I am
Where I come from
Where I go,
Would you still talk to me?
Would you still look at me,
The way you do?
If I ever knew,
Who I am,
Where I come from,
Where I go,
I would no longer
Talk the way I do
Walk the way I do
Behave the way I'm supposed to.
In this very knowing,
Let us come together
In a world,
Where looking, talking,
Is nothing but useless!
Where seeing is not believing,
Where believing is not seeing!
Cause, when you know,
I know!
When it is known,
You and me become unknown!
A void, ever full
Why's it
That presence is celebrated
Like the petals you wish to touch,
And absence is abhored,
Like the leper you don't wish to touch?
Why's it
That death is mourned
When all it does is break
All ties that bind one
To thee Universe of material and mind
Why's it
That birth is celebrated
When all it does is bind
One to all that one calls his own,
Like the spider that binds it's prey
In a web of deceit all it's own!
Strange are the ways of man,
Seeking to escape from the dream
That he spends all his life fuelling,
To finally realize,
That dreams have no choice,
But to come true!
Like the slave bound to his master,
Like the snake bound to it's skin,
Like the caterpillar bound to it's pupa,
Why's it
That so few are led by the truth,
And so many are led by the false
Strange indeed are the ways,
Of this self fulfilling dream,
Which is all I've ever known!
O fool,
Celebrate absence,
Of all you've ever known
Mourn the presence,
Of all you'll ever know!
That presence is celebrated
Like the petals you wish to touch,
And absence is abhored,
Like the leper you don't wish to touch?
Why's it
That death is mourned
When all it does is break
All ties that bind one
To thee Universe of material and mind
Why's it
That birth is celebrated
When all it does is bind
One to all that one calls his own,
Like the spider that binds it's prey
In a web of deceit all it's own!
Strange are the ways of man,
Seeking to escape from the dream
That he spends all his life fuelling,
To finally realize,
That dreams have no choice,
But to come true!
Like the slave bound to his master,
Like the snake bound to it's skin,
Like the caterpillar bound to it's pupa,
Why's it
That so few are led by the truth,
And so many are led by the false
Strange indeed are the ways,
Of this self fulfilling dream,
Which is all I've ever known!
O fool,
Celebrate absence,
Of all you've ever known
Mourn the presence,
Of all you'll ever know!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Winds of change
My new year resolution finally came true. It took me nearly 2 years to break down the barriers I'd put around me. When I first relocated to India, I was averse to working in the software/ IT industry, primarily because I had a Masters, journal publication, research experience and so on - merely reasons to convince others. But the real reason was, I didn't want to be one among the masses and was fearful of total disrespect the industry has for work-life balance. Over the past 2 years there has been a change of heart though the conditions haven't really changed externally. Opportunities for research are still very limited in Bangalore, especially in the private sector. Those that really do great r&d don't recruit a non-PhD, the vice-versa being true too. Thus, I'd been caught unawares belonging to neither group fully. I had merely followed the stream of events that led me to specialize in an obscure branch of knowledge that is quite unmarketable without core software skills! On careful analysis of my personality, I found that I'm not even the type that can dedicate decades to solving one single problem, which is the profile of a true researcher. That being said, I thoroughly enjoyed the past few years in research.
There have been a lot of learnings from this job, which I'll soon be done with. Setting time bound goals is crucial. This necessitates creating desires artificially, even if I don't feel like it. All this is due to the mad rat race & fiercely competitive environment. In a running race, if you take the break to enjoy the scenery, you not only don't finish among the top, if there're too many people running frantically, you also run the risk of being run over in a stampede! The other important take away is to always be diplomatic. Never express what's on your mind instantly, however important & urgent you think it is. Always hide your true intentions, at the cost of putting on a mask. Even if you're stabbing somebody with a knife, the person should feel you're doing him a favor. After all, the life that one leads isn't remotely related to one's true nature anyway. The other lesson is to give the higher-ups a great impression of oneself, even if it is as mundane as staying late just to appear busy and the 'hard-working' type. Of course, true worth will always shine through, but why make things tougher by being modest! My favorite quote here is 'perception is reality to that person'. How true! If only everybody understood this, there would never be any quarrels. Some of this runs contrary to the intuitive feeling of what constitutes highly ethical and moral behavior (sathwick qualities). As long as the intentions are good & there is a solid inner spiritual strength, these will merely be like flakes of snow melting in the sun.
All in all, there are no regrets whatsoever, only a multitude of experiences. I've immensely enjoyed the journey so far, even if it means branching off to alien lands now. I have created concrete desires which might seem too ambitious, but like the heavy stone sinking to the bottom without getting carried by the current, these will eventually hit their mark. Once you hold something as accomplished in your mind and believe very firmly in it, it is merely a matter of time before it actually happens. This approach combined with the Bhagavad Gita philosophy of detaching yourself from actions and not craving for results is a great way of balancing material progress with spiritual growth.
There have been a lot of learnings from this job, which I'll soon be done with. Setting time bound goals is crucial. This necessitates creating desires artificially, even if I don't feel like it. All this is due to the mad rat race & fiercely competitive environment. In a running race, if you take the break to enjoy the scenery, you not only don't finish among the top, if there're too many people running frantically, you also run the risk of being run over in a stampede! The other important take away is to always be diplomatic. Never express what's on your mind instantly, however important & urgent you think it is. Always hide your true intentions, at the cost of putting on a mask. Even if you're stabbing somebody with a knife, the person should feel you're doing him a favor. After all, the life that one leads isn't remotely related to one's true nature anyway. The other lesson is to give the higher-ups a great impression of oneself, even if it is as mundane as staying late just to appear busy and the 'hard-working' type. Of course, true worth will always shine through, but why make things tougher by being modest! My favorite quote here is 'perception is reality to that person'. How true! If only everybody understood this, there would never be any quarrels. Some of this runs contrary to the intuitive feeling of what constitutes highly ethical and moral behavior (sathwick qualities). As long as the intentions are good & there is a solid inner spiritual strength, these will merely be like flakes of snow melting in the sun.
All in all, there are no regrets whatsoever, only a multitude of experiences. I've immensely enjoyed the journey so far, even if it means branching off to alien lands now. I have created concrete desires which might seem too ambitious, but like the heavy stone sinking to the bottom without getting carried by the current, these will eventually hit their mark. Once you hold something as accomplished in your mind and believe very firmly in it, it is merely a matter of time before it actually happens. This approach combined with the Bhagavad Gita philosophy of detaching yourself from actions and not craving for results is a great way of balancing material progress with spiritual growth.
Monday, April 17, 2006
How to bring a city to it’s knees!
Last Wednesday was a fateful day for Kannadigas & Bangaloreans. Dr.Rajkumar, the ever-green super star of Kannada filmdom (Sandalwood!) passed away peacefully. But the rest of the story was far from peaceful. People turned up in large numbers to bid adieu to their idol and on the way decided to have some sadistic fun. What followed was total chaos, death and destruction. The sense of security of people used to living in cocoons was shattered. The entire incident is just a huge magnification of the chaos and destruction that happens daily in the city, though not in a collected fashion. While the barbaric acts are certainly not to be condoned, it is time the causes are understood more clearly, rather than focusing entirely on the trigger. There will be more such incidents in the future since the causes lie dormant, like a volcano waiting for a small fissure to erupt in all it’s fury.
The city of Bangalore is like a huge system that needs many functional sub-units to keep it going. It is similar to a living being, albeit one diseased in body & depressed in mind. Imagine snatching a favorite toy permanently away from a possessive & depressed child of great strength. Toys come and go & snatching keeps happening, but a permanent cure is to uproot the disease itself! What ails the city? That’s the easiest question that the auto-driver can answer as well as the Harvard educated businessman! There is deep-rooted simmering discontent about what the unplanned growth (IT or otherwise) has done to the city. The quality of life has decayed terribly. There is a wide chasm between the haves and the have-nots. The haves take home tens of thousands of rupees every month & are rarely exposed to the atmosphere, while the have-nots take home tens of thousands of rupees over the course of a decade & toil from the mid-day sun to the midnight moon for a simple meal. Kannada has taken a back seat so much so that speaking the language is considered shameful in many posh settings. There is also the larger issue of lack of public idols. The masses rarely have an individual in a position of power that they can look up to and aspire to emulate. This is a direct fallout of the corrupt system entrenched with money laundering politicians.
Well, what can be done then? Proactive and wise developmental plans have to be set in motion and completed on time. Reservation and such hare-brained ideas have to be shelved. Judicial system with corrupt rotten judges has to be revamped. Focus has to shift on improving the life of common people without neglecting high-end development. There is a long wish list that’s easier said than done. While my complete sympathies rest with the people affected adversely, this sort of thing will continue to happen. The system gets what it gives. The law of karma is brutal and operates collectively too. As such, I have no sympathies for the system, of which I too am a part, but not in a position of influence or power to do much about it!
The city of Bangalore is like a huge system that needs many functional sub-units to keep it going. It is similar to a living being, albeit one diseased in body & depressed in mind. Imagine snatching a favorite toy permanently away from a possessive & depressed child of great strength. Toys come and go & snatching keeps happening, but a permanent cure is to uproot the disease itself! What ails the city? That’s the easiest question that the auto-driver can answer as well as the Harvard educated businessman! There is deep-rooted simmering discontent about what the unplanned growth (IT or otherwise) has done to the city. The quality of life has decayed terribly. There is a wide chasm between the haves and the have-nots. The haves take home tens of thousands of rupees every month & are rarely exposed to the atmosphere, while the have-nots take home tens of thousands of rupees over the course of a decade & toil from the mid-day sun to the midnight moon for a simple meal. Kannada has taken a back seat so much so that speaking the language is considered shameful in many posh settings. There is also the larger issue of lack of public idols. The masses rarely have an individual in a position of power that they can look up to and aspire to emulate. This is a direct fallout of the corrupt system entrenched with money laundering politicians.
Well, what can be done then? Proactive and wise developmental plans have to be set in motion and completed on time. Reservation and such hare-brained ideas have to be shelved. Judicial system with corrupt rotten judges has to be revamped. Focus has to shift on improving the life of common people without neglecting high-end development. There is a long wish list that’s easier said than done. While my complete sympathies rest with the people affected adversely, this sort of thing will continue to happen. The system gets what it gives. The law of karma is brutal and operates collectively too. As such, I have no sympathies for the system, of which I too am a part, but not in a position of influence or power to do much about it!
Monday, April 10, 2006
A trip divine
Suddenly on a Thursday afternoon I decided to make a trip all alone for 2 days to Sringeri. There was vehement opposition from home - perhaps they suspected, as they have in the past that I might get swayed away from the so called 'normal' accepted life that humans live. When I informed my friends while on the trip that I had gone alone, sympathies poured in from all over. It was considered unthinkable that a person would travel alone. This is attributed to the confusion most people have between being alone and being lonely. Alone & not feeling lonely is the most wonderful state of being, especially in silence & contemplation. Lonely is the worst state known to the human mind & affects a large number of people especially in advanced countries. If you cannot enjoy being alone, you'll never enjoy with anybody else, be it humans or pets or in exotic locations. On the other hand, one can be lonely even in the midst of a bustling crowd, lots of friends & relatives and so on. Being comfortably alone arises from a state of compeleteness, of oneness with all of existence. Being lonely arises from the ego, from the sake of wanting someone or something to feel complete & this is totally natural since ignorance hides the real nature of the self that includes all.
Coming back to the subject, Sringeri is one of the four mutts founded by none other than Adi Shankaracharya. Take a look at their website at
http://jagadgurus.org/ . Since then, the unbroken lineage of Jagadgurus have drawn scores of people who come in search of solace or just to witness a confirmed jnani! The whole place appeals so much since it has temples, a river, some forests, plenty of space to sit in silence and is rarely crowded except on special occasions. This becomes especially important, since most temples these days are heavily crowded and noisy. To get to a silent place, you need to travel far away & get into one of the upper-class resorts in the jungle. But here, one need not fork out princely sums and book months in advance to have a decent roof over the head. One need not go in search of exotic restaurants for some great piping hot food. There is even a patha-shaala (vedic school) in the traditional Gurukula mode imparting Vedic education to many enthusiastic disciples of all ages. In the evenings, one can listen to the melodious strains of Karnatic classical music. The puja, chanting and the whole atmosphere transports one to the mythical times that we've only heard or read about, provided you keep the mind calm & free of worries about what's happening back home!
All in all, an amazing experience. I wouldn't want to go there with anybody but my self :-). I wouldn’t want to listen to anybody, but the silence of my heart.
Coming back to the subject, Sringeri is one of the four mutts founded by none other than Adi Shankaracharya. Take a look at their website at
http://jagadgurus.org/ . Since then, the unbroken lineage of Jagadgurus have drawn scores of people who come in search of solace or just to witness a confirmed jnani! The whole place appeals so much since it has temples, a river, some forests, plenty of space to sit in silence and is rarely crowded except on special occasions. This becomes especially important, since most temples these days are heavily crowded and noisy. To get to a silent place, you need to travel far away & get into one of the upper-class resorts in the jungle. But here, one need not fork out princely sums and book months in advance to have a decent roof over the head. One need not go in search of exotic restaurants for some great piping hot food. There is even a patha-shaala (vedic school) in the traditional Gurukula mode imparting Vedic education to many enthusiastic disciples of all ages. In the evenings, one can listen to the melodious strains of Karnatic classical music. The puja, chanting and the whole atmosphere transports one to the mythical times that we've only heard or read about, provided you keep the mind calm & free of worries about what's happening back home!
All in all, an amazing experience. I wouldn't want to go there with anybody but my self :-). I wouldn’t want to listen to anybody, but the silence of my heart.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Pleasurable vagaries
Millions of stars start to wink at me,
Beckoning me to the abode with no boundaries.
The rabbit leaps out of the moon
Smiling graciously at my mundane existence,
Beckoning me to come frolic on a land
That promises fantasy and more.
The night sky appears in its regal splendor
Bedecked like an emperor out on a roll,
Like the way it was meant to be.
Noise from idle distractions waft no more
Finally, one can hear the sound of a trillion thoughts
That makes thee mind numb with fright!
Some think the silence is deafening;
Like the way it was meant to be.
The pure elements bask in their own light
Making one frolic as a lamb with no plight!
Like the way it was meant to be.
O, what a glorious night this is,
May the KEB power Gods heed my prayers,
To bestow on me in all their kindness,
Darkness and silence night after night!
Beckoning me to the abode with no boundaries.
The rabbit leaps out of the moon
Smiling graciously at my mundane existence,
Beckoning me to come frolic on a land
That promises fantasy and more.
The night sky appears in its regal splendor
Bedecked like an emperor out on a roll,
Like the way it was meant to be.
Noise from idle distractions waft no more
Finally, one can hear the sound of a trillion thoughts
That makes thee mind numb with fright!
Some think the silence is deafening;
Like the way it was meant to be.
The pure elements bask in their own light
Making one frolic as a lamb with no plight!
Like the way it was meant to be.
O, what a glorious night this is,
May the KEB power Gods heed my prayers,
To bestow on me in all their kindness,
Darkness and silence night after night!
Astrology - Science or pseudo-science ?
This is one of the most common debates..something that one can never convince somebody on the other side of the fence. Most people are sitting on the fence regarding this issue. Even before delving into pros & cons, we need to have a clear understanding of what 'Science' really means to us. As commonly accepted, it is a set of laws based on observation of phenomenon & characterized using a formal methodology which we call as Mathematics. Inherently, what you can express in words is limited by the language you use. So also is the case with Science, often limited by the observable phenomenon & the Mathematical conjectures developed over 1000s of years. What if the formal body of knowledge had come to be defined in a different way ? Would that have changed our concept of accepted beliefs ?
One of the foundational reasons why we call some conclusion Scientific is usually because of the certainty we associate with it. I feel I know with 100% conviction that the apple that detaches itself from the tree will fall only down & not up. In practice, every prediction is probabilistic, always lying between 0 & 1, but never either of these. It is on this premise that Astrology can be called a Science, albeit a probabilistic one, just like anything else. Now it becomes much easier to understand that perhaps some planet somewhere has an effect, however small on us.
There is a much deeper significance to astrology. The planetary system is a macro-cosmic model of the human micro-cosm. The planets relate in some way to the chakras, subtle sources of energy as yet un-discovered by mainstream Science. Everything in the Universe being interconnected in some way, it is not preposterous to assume this just because the laws of interaction are unknown! By themselves they have neither a good nor a bad effect. However, what they do is to activate the karmic tendencies already present in the psyche. I’ve been amazed by the accuracy with which the astrologer can predict your nature & the past without any prior information.
Some pointers to astrology is the chapter from “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramhansa Yogananda discussing this subject in depth. This book, by the way is my all time favorite read & it’s what got me started & interested in self-discovery.
Finally, information is constantly present in the universe. It is up to us to make sense of it & apply it to the task at hand. That is all astrology does – provide a means where information can be meaningfully interpreted. I say this from a simple experience. It was in the back of my mind for past few days to buy additional stock of bathing soap, but I kept forgetting. Yesterday, while on the bus back home, I saw this ad. for soap & it suddenly reminded me to do the needful! All the ad. did was to activate the intent for action already at the back of my mind. So do the planets & the horoscope is merely capturing details of that! All this is in a probabilistic sense as I mentioned earlier!
One of the foundational reasons why we call some conclusion Scientific is usually because of the certainty we associate with it. I feel I know with 100% conviction that the apple that detaches itself from the tree will fall only down & not up. In practice, every prediction is probabilistic, always lying between 0 & 1, but never either of these. It is on this premise that Astrology can be called a Science, albeit a probabilistic one, just like anything else. Now it becomes much easier to understand that perhaps some planet somewhere has an effect, however small on us.
There is a much deeper significance to astrology. The planetary system is a macro-cosmic model of the human micro-cosm. The planets relate in some way to the chakras, subtle sources of energy as yet un-discovered by mainstream Science. Everything in the Universe being interconnected in some way, it is not preposterous to assume this just because the laws of interaction are unknown! By themselves they have neither a good nor a bad effect. However, what they do is to activate the karmic tendencies already present in the psyche. I’ve been amazed by the accuracy with which the astrologer can predict your nature & the past without any prior information.
Some pointers to astrology is the chapter from “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramhansa Yogananda discussing this subject in depth. This book, by the way is my all time favorite read & it’s what got me started & interested in self-discovery.
Finally, information is constantly present in the universe. It is up to us to make sense of it & apply it to the task at hand. That is all astrology does – provide a means where information can be meaningfully interpreted. I say this from a simple experience. It was in the back of my mind for past few days to buy additional stock of bathing soap, but I kept forgetting. Yesterday, while on the bus back home, I saw this ad. for soap & it suddenly reminded me to do the needful! All the ad. did was to activate the intent for action already at the back of my mind. So do the planets & the horoscope is merely capturing details of that! All this is in a probabilistic sense as I mentioned earlier!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Some workdays
These days that slip by so slowly
That I feel like a snail on the track of time
Unable to move any faster on this long journey
Seeing others move by faster than I can blink
All I can do is find many ways to think
Of ways to escape this drudgery that haunts me
Everything around me is so still
It feels like eternity has descended on this moment!
That I feel like a snail on the track of time
Unable to move any faster on this long journey
Seeing others move by faster than I can blink
All I can do is find many ways to think
Of ways to escape this drudgery that haunts me
Everything around me is so still
It feels like eternity has descended on this moment!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Into this house we’re born
Into this world we’re thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out on loan
Riders on the storm
This is the first stanza from the song 'Riders on the storm' by Doors. It's a wonderful song & you probably need to be doped to get the full effect. Else you need to be philosophical to begin to understand its implications. Actually, it's quite simple. I had no control over which body to take on, which family to be born into, the part of the world to be born into, what kind of intellect/mind etc to possess. Coming to think of it, these are THE defining factors that're shaping the course of this life, which I sometimes think is mine. If I had absolutely no control whatsoever on these super critical factors, then how much control do I really have on daily activities & other more significant events? It's a chilling reality check on all of us who keep spending the present making plans for the future!
Riders on the storm
Into this house we’re born
Into this world we’re thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out on loan
Riders on the storm
This is the first stanza from the song 'Riders on the storm' by Doors. It's a wonderful song & you probably need to be doped to get the full effect. Else you need to be philosophical to begin to understand its implications. Actually, it's quite simple. I had no control over which body to take on, which family to be born into, the part of the world to be born into, what kind of intellect/mind etc to possess. Coming to think of it, these are THE defining factors that're shaping the course of this life, which I sometimes think is mine. If I had absolutely no control whatsoever on these super critical factors, then how much control do I really have on daily activities & other more significant events? It's a chilling reality check on all of us who keep spending the present making plans for the future!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Wishful desires
Living a life where you're constantly evaluated, compared & dissected w.r.t others in your category is no fun. But that's the sort of life most of us lead or are forced to lead. It's a rat race, especially in the highly competitive corporate world, where there's no altruism, hardly any friendship (really!) & a carrot hanging in the front & stick behind the back! I for one know in my heart of hearts (whatever that is!) that all I desire is a life of quietude with no responsibilities, no goals, living with nature & just experiencing the joy of being one with everything. I'm still waiting for that day, when I can break free of all shackles, though I'm very much aware every bondage is only in the mind. A life of renunciation from the world! Some call it escapism, but truly, there's no need to prove your so called 'self' (as in yourself), simply because most people aren't even aware of their true self, always mistaking the body-mind complex to be that! Besides, aren't we all escapists in some sense or the other? We're striving hard to escape from the troubles of living, be it noise, pollution, troubled relationships, financial hassles..always trying to move to a physical, emotional, monetary or other plane that we perceive to be higher than our present! Perhaps that's a negative way of looking at it, but it all boils down to a pain vs pleasure weighing act. What better escape is there than to break free from the notion of being an entity limited in time-space?! I now realize that's the very important goal of all difficulties...to know that there's a place where everything is you, nothing is desired, all is bliss, lasting forever...something the mind just leaps with joy even at the very mention of, but becomes sad thinking no such existence is even possible!
Friday, February 17, 2006
Moments...
The only way to live life,
Is moment by moment,
Making no comparisons,
Thinking of everything in life
As the best possible
For me at that moment!
Is moment by moment,
Making no comparisons,
Thinking of everything in life
As the best possible
For me at that moment!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
All roads lead to...
There are many paths to the infinite (in reality there is only the infinite, no ignorance & no need for any of this. But the ignorant have a different perspective). Most well known among them are the bhakti, jnana and yoga margas. Bhakti is well suited for highly emotional people. Jnana follows the art of discrimination & constantly watching the mind. Yoga deals with controlling the mind through various psycho-physical exercises. It is not merely a matter of choice in choosing these paths, but rather, every individual depending on his tendencies at different points of time falls in line predominantly with one of these. It is hard to argue or compare benefits of each of these paths. But the result & goal of all are the same, to get beyond the mind & the physical and thereby realize that all is one. In yoga, one focuses on raising the kundalini to the sahasrara chakra. In bhakti one completely surrenders ones ego to a higher power. In jnana, one constantly discriminates between the real and the unreal. So here too, for instance on self enquiry, the kundalini would rise up, the ego gets destroyed, but the focus is not on these means! Some of the well known spiritual leaders who followed & advocated the bhakti path are Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Chaitanya & the followers of the various dieties like Krishna. Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj are the proponents of the self enquiry mode. The Yoga masters are numerous, such as Paramhansa Yogananda, Swami Vivekananda, AOL founder Sri Sri Ravishankar. What I've found is that Jnana or discrimination alone becomes too dry & unemotional while Yoga & Bhakti add a lot of spice or adventure to the process. This is in the form of visions, siddhis & such accompaniments. At the same time, both yoga & bhakti pre-suppose or force you to acknowledge & live in duality. There is then a constant anticipation that something has to be done to attain liberation! This sort of dichotomy alone accounts for ignorance. Also, yoga or meditation & prayer are usually time bound activities requiring one to dedicate a certain period for this. Discrimination on the other hand can continue during all sorts of normal routines. One may argue that only a clear & purified mind is capable of self enquiry or discrimination, which is quite true. Perhaps that is one of the main reasons bhakti & yoga are advocated for the corrupt kali-yuga! There is no debate or conclusion here, but personally, I prefer to stick to all the paths in some form or at certain periods. Once a deeper understanding is gained, it is seen that these are all complementary & not really competitive paths!
Friday, January 20, 2006
HaHaHa :-))
This is simply too hilarious. Do not look for deeper meanings, sect bashing or even try to follow any of these. Just LOL or ROFL till your guts ache. That's chat lingo for rolling on the floor with laughter.
Here's the link to brighten your day or night:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/elsewhere/journalist/story/0,,1688285,00.html
Here's the link to brighten your day or night:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/elsewhere/journalist/story/0,,1688285,00.html
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Idling
Am just really bored today. There have been many occasions when I've been listless, aimless & just wandering around. This used to happen more often when I was an under-grad engineering student. These days, such occasions are much fewer & farther between.
In such instances, I don't even feel like focusing & reading general articles on the web. It's as if the energy tank has run dry, or rather, the plumbing to supply energy to the activities of the mind-body isn't that efficient. Surprisingly, the stress level is also higher than when there's just sufficient work to do!
As for the causes - there might be many. Biorhythm fluctuates through the day. Food plays a crucial part in making one feel energetic. Things in the back of the mind can sap the energy on a sub-conscious level. Breathing pattern is different at such times, usually shallow. Lack of enthusiasm & motivation targeted specifically at an outcome can be a sympton hard to identify. Though it looks quite easy to fix this, a combination of the innumerable causes combine to render most remedies useless.
Thank God for 8-hour workdays. Pray for Europe-like 35 hr workdays with siesta thrown in ;-) Is it hard to guess that I'm all for Bertrand Russell’s 'In praise of idleness’? Read this here -
http://www.zpub.com/notes/idle.html
In such instances, I don't even feel like focusing & reading general articles on the web. It's as if the energy tank has run dry, or rather, the plumbing to supply energy to the activities of the mind-body isn't that efficient. Surprisingly, the stress level is also higher than when there's just sufficient work to do!
As for the causes - there might be many. Biorhythm fluctuates through the day. Food plays a crucial part in making one feel energetic. Things in the back of the mind can sap the energy on a sub-conscious level. Breathing pattern is different at such times, usually shallow. Lack of enthusiasm & motivation targeted specifically at an outcome can be a sympton hard to identify. Though it looks quite easy to fix this, a combination of the innumerable causes combine to render most remedies useless.
Thank God for 8-hour workdays. Pray for Europe-like 35 hr workdays with siesta thrown in ;-) Is it hard to guess that I'm all for Bertrand Russell’s 'In praise of idleness’? Read this here -
http://www.zpub.com/notes/idle.html
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)