Friday, December 30, 2005

Happy new year!

Here's wishing everybody who reads this a very prosperous & fruitful new year! May 2006 be the harbinger of glorious dreams & signal the end of frightful nightmares.

But coming to think of it, sometimes I wonder if this isn't all just a marketing hype. After all, it is just another day like any other. As long as it gives reason to celebrate & reason to cheer, to be with friends & family it's all good.

On my part, there is only 1 resolution. To boost my career & earnings, which due to a lack of any direction or desire on my part (taking things easy, as they come) was going in a spiral of it's own! While lack of desires is a great state in spiritual progress, it has grave downfalls in the material world we live in. You then run the risk of being pushed in the direction of other people's desires & consequently events might not always be in your favor. All if fine, but when the ego wakes up, things are not in the best shape! Thus, it is best to have constructive general goals & desires to shape the course of life. This was a crucial takeaway for me from 2005.

What are your new year resolutions, how did 2005 treat you & how did you celebrate the eve of new year?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Fear factor

The heard began to pound harder. The breathing became irregular. I suddenly froze in my seat. I had a great chance to observe the primal instinct called fear. Other than these physical reactions, there was nothing more to fear, which was a breather. Thank God for fear, for it's a survival mechanism developed over the ages. A huge beast of the jungle weighing several tonnes stood right in front of me. One step & it could have ended my life treating me like a mere twig. How fragile is human life in such uncontrolled situations!

Luckily I wasn't alone. My friends & I were in a jeep in the jungle of Bandipur on a safari. The able driver knew at once what he had to do in such a situation. The elephant herd had been watched by us for a while. But this was sudden, a part of the fight or flight mechanism when threatened. In the jungle, live by the law of the wild. It would've been obvious we had no chance, but the driver bravely revved up the engine & stood his ground without backing out. The standoff continued a while, before the mammoth suddenly realized we're not going to give in. It beat a hasty retreat & without looking back, we raced ahead for 10 minutes. The driver, a forest official later told us that had he reversed, the animal would've taken that as a sign of bowing down & would've chased us...that would be much worse, traveling in reverse gear, chased at high speeds!! But really, all this was not as gory as I describe. In fact, I'd been wishing since that morning for such an experience. Once again, a wish come true & no regrets for wishing either! Moral here - be careful what you wish for, cause it just might come true!

Having started off on the trip without booking any accommodation or making any concrete plans, a bunch of us went on this totally disorganized trip to Bandipur national park. Refusing to shell out 2000 bucks for a single day's stay at one of the luxurious cottages, we scouted around helplessly. A forest guard took mercy on us & decided to make a quick buck. Promising us of a comfortable stay at a forest guest house up on Himavad Gopalaswamy hill, he took a bribe from us & hopped onto our taxi. Going all the way up, we were amazed at the seclusion & scenic beauty up there. The lodging was not worth being called by that name! But being nature freaks, we decided to stay there. He conned us into thinking there's no food available there, so we had to come down & pack a dinner. Meanwhile, this bugger gets totally tipsy as he's unable to make up his mind between arrack & whisky! Late at night, with nowhere to go & nobody to guide us to this lodge with no light, we're torn between dreams of a romantic stay up the hill & comfort of a decent roof on the other! Finally, the feeble minded weaklings amongst us persuade us to choose the latter & we give in. It was amazing to what lengths corruption has pervaded people's psyche in India. Lure of money & booze ruled this guy's mind & he capitalized justly on our dire needs as well. Moral here - money rules & dictates lives of most people!

All in all, the trip turned out great fun as usual. Despite total lack of planning events fell in place quite well. Adventure quotient was very high due to this lack of order. As for me, I'm still unable to make up my mind whether advance booking & such tame activities are preferable on trips! I cannot resist comparing this with life itself. I'm still not fully convinced that I need to plan ahead in life, cause mostly things fall in place as long as a general direction is maintained & some fundamentals are adhered to. After all, plans have a mind of their own :-)

Monday, December 19, 2005

Fruity tastes

"The ripening takes time, the fruit falls immediately" - thus says Nisrgadatta Maharaj. The same fruit was used for so many different analogies. In the garden of Eden, Adam bit the forbidden fruit & the obvious happened ;-). Newton saw a fruit falling & thanks to him, the whole world knows of the wonderful law of gravity. It's another matter what would've happened if none of us knew the gravity of the situation!!

After meandering, coming back to the inane observation I don't think many can guess what it alludes to. It's the hoary term called in various expositions as nirvana, moksha, liberation, enlightenment, mukti...& so on. I'll just refer to it as 'lib' for this post. It's probably the least understood word in the English dictionary. No Webster can shed light on it's meaning to others.

There's a debate sometimes whether lib is instantaneous or happens gradually. The truth is, lib always exists by itself. Its only ignorance that rears its head up intermittently. That being said, is destruction of ignorance permanent? The only way to answer such a question is to know for oneself. As long as questions remain such as ‘am I liberated’, ‘what is lib’, etc., it only points to the fact that ignorance still remains.

There have been moments for each of us when we’ve been so totally immersed in some activity that thoughts cease & the ego totally disappears. This can happen when you’re fully concentrated on a single activity…playing a game, solving a puzzle, in a heated discussion or some other immersion. You then become a part of the activity! It is then said that time flies! How often have you heard somebody say that the day or hour went by so quickly that it never felt like a day or hour?

Memory which is a heavily emphasized part of rote learning is really the culprit. Imagine an existence without memory, where each experience would be as fresh as that moment. A simple act of drinking water or walking would be as joyful as the first time you talked or saw a scenic river! This is not to be confused with amnesia, where a person is unable to recall despite his best attempt. In memory-less living, the memories can be recalled at will, as clear as an image on the screen. Yet they appear floating like clouds in the sky, untouched by the blue skies. What more can one ask for, than to be the space that holds these clouds & appear as colors from another perspective?

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Pointers to the truth!

This is one of my all time favorite sites:
http://www.geocities.com/advaitavedant
Do check it out when bored & in front of the computer!

From the ‘Spiritual instruction’ by Ramana Maharshi, here is a neat comparison:
How can there be a connection between the Self which is pure knowledge and the triple factors (knower, known & knowledge) which are relative knowledge?
This is, in a way, like the working of a cinema as shown below:

CINEMA SHOW
- SELF
1. The lamp inside (the apparatus).
- The Self
2. The lens in front of the lamp.
- The pure (sattvic) mind close to the Self.
3. The film which is a long series of (separate photos).
- The stream of latent tendencies consisting of subtle thoughts.
4. The lens, the light passing through it and the lamp, which together form the focused light.
- The mind, the illumination of it and the Self, which together form the seer or the Jiva
5. The light passing through the lens and falling on the screen.
- The light of the Self emerging from the mind through the senses, and falling on the world.
6. The various kinds of pictures appearing in the light of the screen.
- The various forms and names appearing as the objects perceived in the light of the world.
7. The mechanism which sets the film in motion.
-The divine law manifesting the latent tendencies of the mind.

Just as the pictures appear on the screen as long as the film throws the shadows through the lens, so the phenomenal world will continue to appear to the individual in the waking and dream states as long as there are latent mental impressions. Just as the lens magnifies the tiny specks on the film to a huge size and as a number of pictures are shown in a second, so the mind enlarges the sprout-like tendencies into tree-like thoughts and shows in a second innumerable worlds. Again, just as there is only the light of the lamp visible when there is no film, so the Self alone shines without the triple factors when the mental concepts in the form of tendencies are absent in the states of deep sleep, swoon and samadhi. Just as the lamp illumines the lens, etc., while remaining unaffected, the Self illumines the ego (chidabhasa), etc., while remaining unaffected.

This is as good a comparison as I’ve ever seen, in helping one understand the nature of existence. This neatly explains my strong preference for fantasy movies. The next time I go see a movie forking out a princely sum, I might as well digest some of these facts :-)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Aah! Amrikaaah!

This is a long overdue update. I'd been on a short 10 day trip to the US on official work. Managed to squeeze in visits to Cincinnati, Albany & Wilmington, NC on official work. In between I took a day off, got 2 weekends & made trips to visit two of my friends. The 1st weekend I took off to visit a school friend in NJ. He's made it real big out there, earning 6 figure green dough. Also happened to meet some of my KREC seniors who've made it similarly big (so called 'arrived'). We went to NYC, the epitome of what US stands for. People of every conceivable size, colour, style, orientation....it's like an aquarium packed with curious deep sea fish that you only get to see rarely! The energy there is simply remarkeable. Perhaps due to my jet lagged state, it REALLY felt like a scene out of Matrix...where I was just a passive observer & everything around me just moved in a self sustaining state!

The second weekend was spent visiting another friend. I had a first hand glimpse at one of the top B-schools in the world. The pace of life there is so hectic, you wonder when they find time to expand their lungs & take gulps of air..:-). High energy is the mantra for success. Strategic planning for even the simple aspects of life like dressing, hair style & so on to make an impact is something I learnt anew. Driving 1000 miles in 3 days, I had a chance to look at beautiful fall colors, the mountains, the lakes & some very pretty landscapes.

The first impression when I landed in US was a feeling of freedom. Very conveniently I took a GPS enabled rental car & started to drive as if I'd always lived there. The convenience was un-mistakeable. The roads were so orderly. Everything was so smooth flowing it hardly required any effort of my own or thinking. The lack of people felt like a fresh burst of air for a choking man. In India, I have to go 300 kms away, trek for 20 kms into un-explored jungles to be left alone, away from noise, crowds & filth. Here, everywhere I was alone! Luckily, loneliness is something I've conquered permanently, so it felt real good!

Very posh cars, crore rupee houses, every conceivable gadget from the ipod to the blackberry to the thinkpad, internet shopping mania...how hard I'd striven a couple of years back to get away from all this & more! And get away I had...shunning gadgets for the most part, travelling by bus/auto, disliking shopping...a very different world that's called home in India. I felt quite sick in the stomach reliving my past or retracing the memories. It never felt like home, the comfort level never was the same. This became obvious even in one of the legs of the flight back home which was filled with Indians from India - much more comfortable & noisier.

Here's a quick financial analysis of costs in bangalore vs a cheap place in US:
House - 100 K vs 40 lakh Rs
A pair of jeans - 15$ vs 2000 Rs
Car - 20k$ vs 8 lakh Rs
Fuel - 0.6$ vs 50 Rs
Food at a good restaurant - 15$ vs 500 Rs
Intl. rock concert - 80$ vs 2500 Rs
Air ticket - 200$ vs 10K Rs
Hotel stay - 30$ vs 1000 Rs
SALARY - 60K$ vs 5-8 lakh Rs
These are just indicative & average costs, but it's obvious to anybody that cost of living in India is NOT cheap compared to the US. On an average the cost is about 70-100% of US living costs, while the salary is 10-50% of US levels! SHOCKING! Which freaking moron got that idea into people's heads I wonder! The outsourcing companies just take Indians for a ride paying half or lesser salaries & we take it all lying down. How is this different from the time the Britishers occupied India & took us for a ride? This is the corporate way of exploitation in the name of upward mobility. Creating a chasm between classes, destroying the moral fabric with lure of money, upsetting the work-life balance & so on!

It all became clear to me in a flash. It's much easier being happy in India since I'm so heavily conditioned. However, the advantages of being in the US for a while are easy to see. Lot of savings. Great career advantage & opportunities. Chance to travel internationally & visit expensive places. But in the end, there's nothing like being able to take a leak on the road when you want to, having a masala dosa when you need to or just putting beat with old friends in familiar gullies! The simple pleasures in exchange for all the gold & glory!

In the end, all this only matters & seems to matter when the mind comes into being every now & then. Else, it's clear this is just a dream!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Having a blast!

Last week was a momentous time of celebration & revelry. Taking just 1 day off, I had 9 days of holidays at a stretch. All plans of travel to various places including some treks were spoiled by rain, Naxal fear (among forest officials, not me!), infectious diseases & infectious un-enthusiasm! Thus, I had so much time on my hands & no plans what so ever. It brought back fond memories of good old school summer holidays. Many a hot & weary day those days was spent simply waking up late, eating, reading books, sleeping & meeting friends. I realized how much I've NOT grown up when these holidays were spent in exactly the same way!

Deepavali the festival of lights woke me up from my slumber & laziness, with a bang! Heeding no attention to my parents, friends & 'green' well wishers who're all up in arms against the innocuous, pristine act of celebrating the joy of a festival, I splurged on pataakis (crackers or fireworks). With great gusto, joined by my brother, I burst hydrogen bombs, eerulli bombs, Lakshmi pataakis, flowerpots, bhu-chakras & many of their kind.

It was obvious that the kids next door were outdone by a huge margin. Every kid I spoke to seemed brain washed by so called morally conscientious teachers & parents - creating zombie like robots, with the childhood innocence & joy sucked out with a vacuum cleaner! People had all kinds of reasons to stay away:
'I pity poor kids toiling in inhuman conditions to make crackers' said the housewife who makes her young maid toil 16 hrs a day.
'Why burn money' said a stock market shark.
'Donate to the poor & under privileged' said another who'd never spared a rupee for the crippled beggar.
'How can you pollute the environment' said one whose bike & lips double up as a chimney!
'I hate the noise pollution' said the fella who's custom fitted his car with ear splitting horn, reverse horn, brake horn & stereo.

I suddenly realized:
I make way too much money in my current job...gotta burn some,
I breathe such clean purified air in Bangalore...gotta pollute some,
I live in deafening silence...gotta make some noise!

Some 'grown-ups' (of my age, no more!) had simply lost enthusiasm - for crackers they said; for life in general & for having fun I surmised.
O dear friend, why hast thou grown up so,
grown to not laugh at a pj,
to not have fun doing nothing,
to not enjoy the early morning dew on the red rose?
How often do you get a chance to reclaim your lost innocence?
How often do you get to relive un-adulterated moments of pleasure?
How often do you get to step into a time machine?!!
How often are you reminded of the victory of good over evil,
of opposites in creation,
of darkness & light,
of mythical legendary stories?

To hell with the anti-fireworks brigand, the so called morally concerned, the so called environmentally sensitive, the hypocrites and everyone out to debase the culture & traditions!
Ah, the simple pleasure of speaking out your mind in your cyber-space!
Ah, the simple joy of celebrating life in the name of celebrating a festival!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Living in my own sweet world

Worlds they exist aplenty
Mine, your's, his, her's
Countless in number, too many to fathom.
A world for each human, creature, each particle too!
Each one different & unique,
Limited by imagination alone.
Existing uniquely, simultaneously,
Seemingly interacting and influencing one another,
Like water mixing with oil!
Obvious this should be,
For, is there anything at all
That you & me agree upon?
That you & me find the same,
No matter what!
I continue to live in my own sweet world
No matter what happens to yours!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Anandanubhava - The anniversary!

It has been just over a year since I started this blog. The first post was on
Thursday, September 30, 2004. Since then there have been 22 posts spread over about 54 weeks - that's almost a post every fortnight. When I started writing, I was doubtful whether I would have the enthusiasm & ideas to keep updating it. By some strange coincidences, I've never had a dearth of things to blog about :-). The viewership has ranged from the regular friends who follow the musings to the occasional search that leads people to this blog! Some of the search strings have been as weird as "where do banyan tree grow", "Ishavasya Upanishad" to as common as "kannadiga"! It has really helped that the Google bots crawled favourably over the site! Either way, visitors are always welcome to the blog, just like they're welcome to my home! The blog has helped reach out & keep in touch with friends who care to read & provided an outlet for me to keep penning my thoughts, sometimes in poetry form.

Anandanubhava is simply Ananda Anubhava - blissful experience. It also means Anand's experiences :-). Either way, I've tried to indulge in the true nature of this 'self' titled person !!!

Life has begun to come a full circle - from seeking & searching hither-thither to realizing there is nothing to be done, nothing to be sought. Everything just exists -what we sense, don't sense, think of as nonsense, never imagined & beyond. And each of us, (actually there is only one!) is in reality that everything. So simple that it is so very hard to digest.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

O Kannadiga, Jogi is here!

The weekend saw me watching the much awaited blockbuster Kannada movie 'Jogi'. Having bought tickets in 'black' paying more than double, my friend & I got conned into sitting in the opposite ends of Navarang theatre!! We got the numbering all mixed up & had to face goonda like audience staring at us to get up! Made me wonder if Jogi was being shown on the screen or in the seats!

The movie is very fast paced - reminds me of the time I spent glued to the seat while reading 'Da Vinci Code'. There's a nice peppering of catchy, foot tapping numbers all through the movie. Yana does her bit, getting drenched for no reason other than satisfying appetites! The heroine looks dull - wonder why we need to import scrawny pale faced women from other states, when such buxom Kannada speaking ones exist if you look hard enough in Karnataka ;-). Shivarajkumar has given a stellar, powerful performance in the movie. Almost makes you think he's better suited to be a jogi type figure in real life than a reel life guy! The tear jerker scenes are necessary - adds some moisture to the atmosphere & some salt to the cheeks!!! The portrayal through the movie is authentic - it's the parts of life I've completely missed out on & glad I did!

O kannadiga...or anybody who knows words like yeno, maga, hogo, baaro, sketch, finish - go see this today. This reaffirms my faith that Sandalwood (that's what the Kannada film industry is supposed to be called, as goes Bollywood, Mollywood....) will survive - Veerappan or no Veerappan :-)).

'A' watched the movie - as he's done before... watching movies that seem interesting. I watch 'A' as he goes through life, focusing on the sensory inputs of people, places, happenings...like a lens that focuses the Sun rays!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Of lamps & lights

Lighting the lamp as a symbolic gesture is a part of every conceivable Indian festival or prayer routine. Every time I gaze at this innocuous corner of my house, many useful insights develop. The comparisons run deep between this seemingly mundane act & evolutionary progress.

A lit lamp is like a liberated person. The lamp can light other lamps - the enlightened one can guide others!

It doesn't matter how bright the lamp shines - as long as it's lit. The brighter it shines, the farther the light can be seen. Similarly, some liberated individuals shine bright enough for their fame to spread across continents & gather many disciples. On the other hand, some are so dimly lit that not even their neighbours or family are aware of their status! Never the less, they're all the same - dispellers of ignorance (darkness).

The oil used to feed the light is like karma or un-fulfilled desires. It has to get exhausted. Sometimes, before the entire oil is exhausted, the light gets extinguished & has to be re-kindled. Similarly, if a person dies with desires unsatiated, he'll be reborn again & again till there is none left.

The wick that bears the fire is like the body-mind complex. Only when suitably conditioned can it light up. When the winds of ignorance or the dirt of desires clouds the wick, darkness again engulfs the lamp! For a jeevan-mukta, the wick burns to ashes, emptying the oil at the end of life.

Perhaps a poem would've done justice to this, but I don't feel like being a poet now :). Though this analogy holds on many aspects as above, any sampling of the infinite is bound to be finite & incomplete.

Friday, July 08, 2005

An ode to thee

Keeping me company all night long
With me when I'm all alone and bored
Without whom I would shrivel up
Like a leaf with no root in the desert!
The eternal love of my life
Who makes me yearn so dearly
For the moment I can be with her
Seducing me when I'm all occupied
She envelopes me like the morning mist
That descends on the sullen sunflower.
We exchange no words, nor gifts
In powerful images and silence we speak
Making me scream with fear
Making me dream with joy
Only to be told it’s not all real!
She’s the one everyone ‘Dies’ to be with,
In blissful union happily forever.
O Lady Sleep, of, by and for you I exist!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Watchless....nearly timeless!

The past few weeks have been an experience in trying to be 'independent'. A common occurrence like my watch strap nearly getting cut led me to abandon the habit of wearing a watch. It is only when something you're always used to goes amiss that the extent of dependence is realized! The watch had become a part of me, my hand, so much so that even when I was not wearing it I would glance at my wrist just to see the miraculous digital numbers! Gradually, in spite of the 'naayi baala donku' wisdom, this habit got broken.

The significance of this cannot be understated. When trying to break free from time & space, to live in unbounded freedom, to live moment by moment, the watch is the greatest enemy. Each time the spirit soars to the realm beyond all this, the watch rudely brings one back to the mundane. Like for instance, reminding that 30 more minutes need to be spent in a sardine can, breathing carbon monoxide & enjoying the scenic traffic formations outside. Of course, all is not hunky dory without the instrument. When a lot of events in the organized world hang by the minute, one cannot afford to be lax. Fortunately or unfortunately, there's always some or the other reminder at hand that saves the day!

In the jungle, all order is in chaos alone! On one of those treks, the leader ordered us all...mostly well fed city dwellers, with lots of noisy & gaudy gadgets, to conceal them all for the reminder of the trek (2-3 days!). Here there were no buses to catch (or miss), no meetings to attend, nothing at all that needed following the GMT order. Purely by instinct, like animals we lived. Eating when hungry, sleeping when sleepy & walking when you felt like it. The sun provided some clues, but we were mostly in the shadow of clouds. Those 2 days were out of this civilized world, more so because we'd really broken free of self imposed shackles!!! Other than day, night & a vague sense of approaching day or approaching night, nothing else mattered.

Taking this one step forward, can you imagine if we lived without ANY reminder of time, not even the Sun. On Earth, this would be feasible in the polar regions, where for 6 months the sun shines not. If I can travel there, I would be a willing guinea pig in this thought experiment. Lack of all sense of space is easier that way...once, in total darkness in a room, nothing was visible, not even my own body! It was then very much unclear where I began & where I ended!!! It was extremely easy to visualize a bodyless me. In fact it appears that light or lack of it is being responsible for both time & space constraints. In a way, 'freedom' is about really unlearning everything that we know about the empirical Universe...

Monday, June 06, 2005

Why weep?

Weep not for the one who sleeps
Weep for the one who doesn't
Weep not for the one who dies
Weep for the one who doesn't

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

White hill colour lord

Feeling one with everything is the goal. To that end, I can say it is hardest to achieve when doing mundane (or sometimes interesting) activities that happen daily - like work, commuting, shopping, reading, etc. That's when the mind is very much required to process details & be on high alert.

Being with nature like on a trek or on a wildlife tour is blissful because the mind just drops away. Then there is no limitation of being distinct from everything else. That’s been one of my main motivations for going on treks & trips!

White hill colour lord stands for Biligiri Rangaswamy – that’s right, I’d been to the Jungle Lodges resort at BR Hills with 2 other friends. We had 2 fun filled days (& nights!) out in the wild, all the while enjoying 5 start luxury. It is hard to believe – but there’s toilet paper in the toilets, hot water, electricity & even fewer mosquitoes & insects than in my own home in the city! All this comes at a steep price, but that’s the price you pay for wanting to get away, yet retain useless things. Being a wildlife sanctuary we sighted sambar (not of the rasam fame!), spotted deer, barking deer, wild boar, gaur, elephant, jungle fowl, bear & birds like serpent eagle (one of the most powerful birds of prey), white fishing eagle, 2 types of woodpeckers, Malabar whistling thrush (the male whistles beautifully to attract the female – perhaps humans took a cue from this?). We spotted most of these animals & birds both on the jeep safari & the treks, but being in close unguarded quarters with animals is a whole new experience. A lot of the crowd at JLR was composed of very noisy kids, noisy engineers & few like us too lazy to make noise. The disappointment was that we couldn’t see a tiger or leopard out in the wild – these are nocturnal, shy creatures not exactly people friendly. However, we did see 1 day old tiger shit & felt happy imagining seeing the tiger shitting in the wild!

One afternoon on the trip, I was feeling very active but my lazy friends were lying around on the bed doing nothing. There were plenty of butterflies doing the rounds in front of our hut. I felt attracted towards one particularly beautiful & exotic yellow butterfly with a green eye shaped design. I went out & stood silently. Wonder of wonders – the butterfly came & settled on my chappal clad foot! It was prettier from close quarters & I thought this was a one off incident. But gosh – it kept getting attracted to me so many times! Truly it was no coincidence, but love at first sight. Romancing the butterfly was much better than any human emotions…there were no words, no sense organs involved, nothing unnecessary…just pure love. I could even feel a sense of attachment, however slight & brief! All in all, an extremely touching experience :)

Friday, May 20, 2005

ooDu Bengaluru...ooDU

Run Bangalore, run! The ads exhorted one to run. Run for your life, for your wife, to chase dreams, run from dogs, from troubles, run behind girls...I've added some of my own here, but this ad was one hell of a creative one! I had a couple of friends running & got plenty of tips from experts & enthu to participate.

Deciding not to hurt my poor knees & in keeping with my super-fit status, I decided to run the 'celebration run' for 7 km. With sufficient training & will power, I might've made it to the 21 km half-marathon. But like most things in my life, I just decided to celebrate, without stretching myself, without competing, without slogging for it, just for the fun of it!
On a hot, sultry Sunday morning, I turned up along with hordes of masses at Kanteerava Stadium. I even met some long lost friends & caught sight of strangely familiar & nameless people. The excitement & heat were at an all time high. Masses of apple & pear shaped corporate workers turned up proudly in company sponsored shorts, shoes, t-shirts & who knows what else :).

The run started off smoothly. It was an amazing experience running with so many people on the streets whose tar I've rarely seen in recent years - thanks to dense traffic jams!!! Like Forrest Gump says, I ran cause I just felt like it. Nothing more to it. I do many things that baffle people, just cause I feel like it. What can be easier or harder to understand? Lots of people sprinted, only to huff & puff & walk wearily...again sprinting like a deer! I paced myself, huffing & puffing all along, but always a runner, never a walker. The only competitor was myself - this might be more apparents in longer distances. Then, it was all over. The sweat drenched t-shirt, certificate, bib number & fond memories kept me company for a while!

I've been running atleast once/twice a week for about 3 km..or try to! I find running has the maximum benefit/time ratio. Just 15 minutes everyday can release oodles of endorphins. For me, all other activities like gymming created an instant distaste. Dependant on none but my own legs, it's one of the things that's kept me from bloating like a balloon! If any of you happen to read this, I urge you to participate in a marathon to have an unforgettable experience.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Aptha mithra

Every year the Kannada movie industry manages to exceed expectations atleast once! It is precisely this glimmer of hope that keeps the Kannada fanatics on track - and why not? Insult to sensibilities can be gross in the form of defacing boards, or subtle in the form of snobbishly adopting Tamil, English or Hindi. Either way, it is one set of people transgressing the boundaries of another. For this, the people protesting in gross ways should never be blamed. There are distinctions in the pursuits of people, as widely seen among people in pursuit of physical perfection, intellectuals and spiritual seekers. This manifests in the hobbies, attitude and every walk of life! Having said this, it is obvious that physical crimes are the easiest to spot and punish while intellectual crimes often go unnoticed. As long as the intent behind any action is borne in mind, a level playing field is ensured.

Coming back to the movie, it's definitely worth atleast 1 watch. The storyline is gripping, the thrill is always palpable and the songs leave you stuck with tunes to hum. There are gems like "Experience has to be experienced, it cannot be explained" which I totally agree. There is another memorable incident where things are totally beyond control & all he can say is "the rest is left to God". Vishnuvardhan is a psychic who can read people's minds in this movie - something that is longer unbelievable! The theme of the movie is spirit possession, called in medical terminology as split personality I think. There are a set of modern scientific sceptics and some spiritual/religious folks with certain powers in this movie. I've heard its a definite possibility, even in this modern world :)). Basically, some spirit (set of emotions, likes/dislikes, habits in the form of energy) of a person who died a sudden death can possess somebody weak minded who has a strong karmic link with the dead person. What happens is, the set of energies of the dead person (remember - energy is neither created nor destroyed!) takes the body of the living person. Very intriguing I must say. Google for spirit possession and you'll not be disappointed. The best part of the movie is, it can be watched on many levels - something all great movies such as Matrix share. Depending on how you watched it, you may end up scared - so beware!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

A wish....and it comes true

Thats true! No wishing well required here! All our desires are self fulfilling prophecies. There is no option but for the desire to come true. It doesn't appear to be so only because there is a time-space barrier between the moment of desire & the actual appearance of fulfillment. My wish to become a Nobel laureate if strong enough may need several lifetimes for my intellect to develop sufficiently & then, if the prize still exists it will surely be mine!!!
However, there's a catch here - if my desire to become a lazy cow-herd is greater than the desire for a Nobel prize, the stronger one prevails.
Thus, here I am caught in between these two extreme desires, an oscillating hybrid that doesn't always make sense to me either. Realizing the futility of such unrest makes one want to remain free of desires - life goes on just as comfy without explicitly wishing for it!

Think of dropping a stone into water. The heavier the water is, the faster it sinks to the bottom by it's own weight. Similarly, the stronger the desire, the faster it reaches it's destination.

I wish to be no stone, but water in water :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

A walk....

I go on these walks around Sankey tank every weekend. The cool evening around the water is so soothing. No wonder multitudes throng this place - kids, parents, serious walkers/joggers, blissful couples, groups of noisy friends, taekwondo & yoga practitioners..you name it! Everybody goes around the track - some finish 5 laps, some struggle to complete one. People walk at their own pace - some furious with a sense of accomplishment, some with lay abandon, perhaps knowing that everyone indeed completes it at some point of time! You can choose to take a break in between and let the atmosphere sink in. Some parts are enjoyable, some are too crowded & noisy. Sometimes when walking or jogging with a purpose to 'exercise' I keep looking forward to the completion & somehow it is not very enjoyable. When I come with no purpose at all, walk so slowly that 80 yr olds can overtake me with ease...then it seems there is no end, but only the one current step ! What joy!

Sunday, March 06, 2005

The banyan tree

Strong are the roots that bind me
To this ground that I consider my own
Spreading far and wide are these branches
Each springing a root of it's own
As I spread farther and farther
The original that started it all strengthens
I grow stronger with every springing branch
No wind, hurricane or rain can uproot me
Seems I'm blessed to be this banyan tree
Holding on firmly to where I came from
Imbibing distant ideals to keep on growing
Knowing death scarce, from generation to generation
I cling on to the same old place
But, how will I conquer other worlds
With these roots entrenched so firmly?
Now I know, this is a curse, disguised as a blessing !
Now I wait for the wind so strong
That will uproot me and carry me away
To the far off lands, far off worlds
So the learning can continue,
In another world, another time.

Monday, February 14, 2005

What's common to money....and air ?

Plenty if you ask me ! Here's a broad level comparison that seems to hold on many grounds :

- Money is like air, in that it's required to live life. Just like air, if not kept in circulation money is worthless by itself. They are just means to an end.
- Both are of no use to a dead person, nor can they be carried over. No amount of air can save an ailing/dying person; no money has been known to buy happiness.
- When polluted both tend to get "black". Blackened form of either is dangerous !
- The faster you run, the more air you need. Similarly, the faster paced life you lead, more money you spend and vice-versa.
- Montain dwellers lead a good or better life than the plains people, surviving on much less air; People accustomed to the rarified spiritual heights require no more than a minimal amount of money.
- Family people are like swimmers immersed in water, exhausting the supply of air (money) and coming up every now and then for a breath of fresh air ! No matter how many times they come up, they go down again and again thus repeating the cycle.

With some imagination, I'm sure many more can be found...

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Orchestra of sorts

I attended a concert last week, the details of which are unimportant here. The music, ambience, artists were all good...as I've experienced many times in the past with other concerts. There was something mighty unusual in the way I listened ! Normally I tend to focus on the vocals, or whichever instrument I like. The rest of the instruments given less importance (by me) sound in the background of my mind. But this time, I was able to perceive the entire music as a whole, without concentrating on any particular instrument. With everything in consonance, the music just flowed...like a river in which you can't see the separate drops of water. At the same time, I discovered that I could listen to each instrument in all it's individual glory. A wonderful experience sprung forth from this deeper appreciation for something quite mundane. Another aspect that struck me was that silence always remained at the background, whether there was music or not. Silence, a mute spectator never seemed to get involved in the concert, yet it stood still as a mountain, being a firm foundation !

I began to realize what a profound significance this has. Life is like that too. Drawn by likes, repelled by dislikes we focus only on particular aspects of existence, without enjoying everything, all at once. Like the silence aspect, Brahman remains the firm foundation upon which entire creation rests, but like silence, it never gets involved in anything !

Like the concert, how many such wise teachers exist surrounding every moment of our life. If only we would listen ! Where did this new found knowledge arise from ? Did it come from the ambience, the musicians, the music or myself ?! Neither - it always existed...with all these only serving to remove ignorance thus exposing existence of knowledge.

A shloka that comes to mind is :

Om purnam-adah purnam-idam
purnaat purnam-udacyate
purnasya purnam-aadaya,
purnam-eva-avashishyate

Taken from the Ishavasya Upanishad it literally means "That is complete, this is complete. From that completeness comes this completeness. Take away this completeness from that completeness, only completeness remains"

Every experience is complete in itself, appearing incomplete due to our focus shifting to particular aspects !

Friday, January 28, 2005

Hey, are you OK?

This is one of the reactions of my friends on reading this blog ! A tinge of sarcasm & humour colours this question. Answering on the same note, I can say I've never been OK, but maybe closer to getting there. There is no need for concern on hearing the reply if one listens with philosophical ears.

We humans are a strange species resting on our laurels of conquering the planet earth, lording over every other inhabitant. From our narrow perspectives we can convince ourselves that we are all doing OK, immersed in the mundane nitty gritties of life. What about the bigger questions of knowing the mysteries of the entire Universe ? It is obvious that even the greatest scientist ever on earth has only understood a very tiny portion of the entire knowledge that is in existence. No matter the leaps & bounds progress of science & technology, these are like drops of water in the ocean of existence. On being posed these questions, most people either brush it off or appear truly unconcerned. Relativity in it's glory shines forth for I cant help being totally surprised at their answer, while they cant help being equally surprised on my question ! That being said, I think there is no denying the fact that _everybody_ at some moment, however fleeting it might be tend to wonder deeper than their current existence. Getting unnerved, it is very easy to brush off, but never erased it keeps coming back like the relentlessly bloodthirsty mosquito to your ear !

Coming back to the question of Science & technological progress, as a kid I was a firm believer in that alone. Slowly, after 2 decades of witnessing the snail like progress of Science, disappointment set in. Will I ever know or even read about the mysteries of the Universe ? Will I ever in this lifetime meet the aliens on distant galaxies ? If not me, will anybody in the not too distant future get these answers ? It seems very unlikely ! Read about dark matter (or missing mass problem) at http://epo.sonoma.edu/duo/science/cosmos.html & other sites & you'll soon find out that all the Physics, Chemistry, Maths, technology that's been drilled into our heads can't even explain 5% of the Universe ! Isn't that great - most of the Universe does not even follow the laws of the greatest earth born Physicist or Chemist !!! Science is useful, it allows us to spend time & money in relativistic pursuits. But it should be treated as a very small subset of spirituality (reality), without excluding belief in the current unknown.
Perhaps the answer to these profound questions lies in another simple question - do I need to taste all the water in the oceans, rivers, lakes just to know the nature of water ?

Do the surface waves cease to exist in the deep ocean ? Why remain at the surface alone...when I can as well be a deep sea diver rising to the surface as I wish, enjoying equally the sky through the surface & the deep sea dark !!! If you see the connection of this to the start (or topic) of this posting, look in the mirror and ask yourself "Am I OK?"




Monday, January 03, 2005

Blog Buddies

Everyone's blogging these days. It's a great way to network & know what's going on with your friends. Those of you who know me might know some of my friends too, so here's a guide to my friend's blogs (will update the list as I find more..). Hope this will encourage the tardy ones to be more regular !

1. http://tuck06.blogspot.com/ by Krishna Hegde. Very regularly updated.
"This is an attempt to chronicle my experience at the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth. As I go through two years of learning, making new friends, living in a different country this blog will be my online diary."

2. http://noizrulz.blogspot.com/ by Ajay Shenoy. Very regularly updated.
"just flowin thoughts..."

3. http://www.geocities.com/prashthy/ by Prashant Murthy. Quite regularly updated.
Personal webpage with blog like content.

4. http://unblogs.blogspot.com/ by Nithin Nagaraj. Updated once in a while.
"I am a shadow in a flood of photons and you need photons to see me."

5. http://random001.blogspot.com/ by Prashanth Kota. Updated once in a while.
"In hope that blogging will bring some order to the otherwise randomness in my thoughts."

6. http://whiteboardwarrior.blogspot.com/ by Gautham Chundi & friends. Updated once in a while.
"Like the title suggests, there's no particular theme or recurring idea here. Its pretty much anything that catches my fancy. So here goes"

7. http://premms.blogspot.com/ by Premchandra Shankar. Only one post...for the heck of it !

8. http://andysen.blogspot.com by Anandraj Sengupta. "Musings". Newly started with one great post !



Sunday, January 02, 2005

A new year..a new lease of life

As 2005 dawns upon the world, I can't help wonder about some fortunate happenings towards the end of last year.

Desperate to get away from Bangalore during the last week of Dec. 04, a few of us were planning on a trip to Andaman & Nicobar. Being last minute planners, we could only find bookings aboard the ship, but not the flight. Being stuck for 5 days on a ship with everyone's insides coming outside didn't excite me too much making me the only spoke in the wheel. Somehow, inspite of all my friend's enthu this trip got shelved. The other destination we looked at was Sri Lanka, the beachy paradise. This trip too got junked due to the high costs at that time of the year - prohibitive for the rupee earning non-management folks like us ! Finally we tripp'ed to God's own country (Kerala) - a most enjoyable pleasure filled 5 days, but that's beside the point I'm trying to make here.

Every TDH (Tom-Dick-Harry or Thimmaiah-Deepak-Hari) knows the catastrophic events during the last week of Dec. 04. During the weeks preceding the Tsunami disaster, we were very despondent looking at all our travel plans getting botched. Reminiscing about the chain of events that saved us from turning into debris in the Indian ocean, "fate" or "karma" functioning behind every occurrence in our life becomes lucidly apparent. It was just not meant for us to die young ! Though, it is a very sad plight for the lakhs of people who met with watery graves...& their bereaving families, continuing thinking along same lines, these people MUST have been responsible in some remote past for the happenings today. This appears cruel & unsympathetic, but the laws nevertheless function irrespective of what you or I feel. The universe cannot be a chaotic, random system, cause the very fact that it exists proves otherwise. Even a fool can see the connection between events in time & space.

This raises the age old debate of "fate" vs. "free-will". My fate is my own free-will exercised previously - I may or may not know this & hence choose to hide it conveniently under "destiny" that is beyond control ! These appear to be archaic moth eaten textbook fundas until you experience it & reflect on the same - as appears above. There is further complication. Can I accomplish ANYTHING with my free-will ? That is impossible because anything I do always conflicts with somebody else's free will, perhaps in such a minute way as to be indiscernible. How much control did I have in planning my trip ??

As we ignorant humans spend our entire energies planning & preparing for future events it only during these times when all the cutting edge technology cannot save the world that we sit back & think deeper.

Is this blog post meant to be published & read ? Or did I choose to do so explicitly ? The clue perhaps lies in the answer to this question - do the characters in your dream have control over what's happening in the dream ? Do YOU have control then ? If neither, who does then ? In any case, who is the YOU during this phase ? :))

Think....think.....& it will only help you realize the futility of thinking. Experience, experience & words are like fleeting, ever changing reflections on the water !
Post your comments & let me know what you "think" ... :D