Today and forever

A spark in the annals of time,
When the gust from the past
Brings forth a plethora of possibilities
Gushing forth like the rapid river in spate
On whose bows the boatman rows
Wafting hither, thither, as she whims.
At every periodic twist and turn
Bestowing order to illusory chaos
T’is the hour for the hoary helmsman
To beseech her, who moves earth and wind
Why I am rowing?
Why I am?
Why I?
Why?

This is a poem I wrote for a birthday gift. Normally poems should be self explanatory, but people may just get the general gist without grasping all the subtle nuances & deeper meanings. So I’ll attempt to explain the intent & imagination behind this poem.

Today and forever:
This is to be reflected starting from today, the birthday and go on forever. Alternatively, the bend in the river happens today, but the river flows forever in a continuous manner.
A spark in the annals of time, when the gust from the past brings forth a plethora of possibilities:
Every soul that has ever existed was created at some point in time, no one knows when. That moment is referred to as a spark – often times a spark is just a momentary occurrence, but it creates a fire that can rage on for a long time, doing many things - some wonderful, some disastrous. Likewise it is the gust that carries the spark & creates the raging fire, i.e., an individual soul encased in ignorance. One often wonders why one had to be created, to be told that it is all just God’s play where, in the end he wants us to unite with him. The other meaning of gust from the past is that every life is a continuation from the past life. The wind that blows, its intensity, direction, etc is determined by the past & influences the future possibilities. Thus, when one is born in this world or another, the prarabdha karma of fruits waiting to ripen already exist.

Gushing forth like the rapid river in spate, on whose bows the boatman rows, wafting hither, thither, as she whims:
Being born as explained earlier, the life force flows rapidly like the mighty river. This is true of certain individuals, while others may like the mere trickle of water, hardly flowing. In any case, it is wrong to construe the whole river to be an individual soul. In fact that represents the entire sum of life forces in existence. It is impossible to separate certain drops of water or certain currents, from others & from the river itself. The boatman represents the ego, thinking itself to be the doer. We struggle, strive hard all our lives in chasing dreams, laughing when we achieve them & crying when we don’t. It is bondage worse than a prisoner in gallows for life. In fact, though the boatman rows hard & thinks it is he who is guiding the boat here & there, the reality is that the river of life herself is the doer & she carries the boatman according to her wishes. Perhaps the rowing of the boatman often only makes matters worse – in his ignorance he may smash against a rock! Thus it is with life that one has to sit back, follow the flow of life & just enjoy the whole show without giving rise to new desires, but just allowing the prarabdha to run its course.

At every periodic twist and turn, bestowing order to illusory chaos, t’is the hour for the hoary helmsman, to beseech her, who moves earth and wind:
The periodic twist & turn is the birthday! We humans keep assiduous track of time, as though it is something very tangible. Likewise, the twist & turn in the river is nothing more than an imaginary milestone. Perhaps it does nothing to the flow of the river, perhaps it does something. In any case, it is not very significant for the river herself, but for the boatman who keeps rowing it is a crucial ‘turning point’! It is believed by many people that the tracking of time by humans is what keeps us from going into a chaotic spin. However, just like the river would flow just the same if it were not for periodic twists & turns, the universe would go on irrespective of what we keep track of. It is for us, the boatmen of the world whose egoistic mind can easily go into a spin, that time & such other milestones become necessary. The hoary helmsman is the ancient ego – God alone knows how long it has existed & what phases it has passed through. Of course, in its last life in the journey, all that would be revealed. It is the boatman’s one and only duty to seek answers to some key questions from the river – the river whose flows moves the earth beneath (soil) and causes wind due to currents. It is every human beings’ only purpose in life to seek answers to such questions, not just intellectually, but to internalize them & develop complete awareness at every instant.

Why I am rowing:
This is a question seeking answers and it belongs to the realm of karma, doership. The seeker here questions as to why he is performing actions. The alternative is of course to not perform any action, which is impossible to do. Even an idle or lazy person has to perform actions to maintain his body – such as eating, sleeping, etc. This question therefore is easily answered, since there is no other alternative. It leads to a deeper question.

Why I am:
This is an existential question, referring to the ego ‘I’ and why it exists. The boatman here questions his very existence and whether it is necessary in the grand scheme of things. He then realizes that the river is necessary for the boatman, but not the other way round. In fact his separateness is a fictional entity. Thereby he is able to dissolve his identity & just follow the river, without trying to row here, there, wherever his mind leads him. Henceforth the questions & answers to the last 2 questions happen between the semblance of ego (like the burnt rope, or like a line in water – no division causing hindrance) & God. The answers are experiential & cannot be put into words.

Why I:
Here the ego has been dissolved and the ‘I’ refers only to the creation in its entirety. It refers to the eshwara loka, or prakruti, or the created universe. As to why there is creation, it is said that it is God’s play that arises spontaneously from Brahman, which forms the substratum or adhistana. Saguna Brahman arises out of Nirguna Brahman. Yet it is as real as the Nirguna Brahman. However, this can be experienced in various forms, such as love, peace, joy, etc.

Why:
This goes to the realm beyond the created world. The knowers of Brahman who are not incarnations of God, cast off their body within 21 days it is said. Those who climb to these heady heights usually cannot come back to their senses to tell the tales. It is only incarnations of God, or Ishwarakotis who can describe this state. However, it simply cannot be grasped at all. Nirguna Brahman which has no attributes – how can one understand that ever? One cannot even experience it, for Brahman alone is. Hence it is said that ‘Aham Brahmasmi’ which means the individual soul free of ignorance, verily is nothing different from the Brahman.