Colorful chronicles

Touched by heaven in the twinkle of a moment,
Such a gush of blood in the heart of a poet,
Mere madness in an attempt for a sonnet!

Worlds apart, distant like the sky and earth
Till the clouds of mind have nothing but dearth,
Bestowing land the waters of desire's fiefdom.
Rendering bereft the sky, spaceless with air of freedom

Welcoming warmth of the celestial warrior,
Shooting splendidly arrows of light,
Piercing rays of hope through an invisible barrier
Splashing subtly colors of creativity, oh what a sight!

Behold the bridge of contoured creativity
Touching sky with earth, with such impunity!
The beginning of a show, thats all about unity!

The thrills and perils of technology

Wireless technology is a big boon for those on the move and for those of us who want freedom from - wires (what else!). Technology has progressed so much that now a days we can have wireless internet, wireless headphones, wireless communication between home devices and even wireless power - a recent development at MIT that works on magnetically coupled resonant receiver-transmitter pairs. Technology really has made rapid strides to make life simpler for us.

Or, has it? My immediate need is to buy a bluetooth headset with a mic/ headphone and a bluetooth adapter for my laptop to be able to communicate with freedom over VoIP channels to far flung places across the world. I want to be able to simply walk into a neighbourhood store, pay for it, plug it in and start talking. Tech savvy people would really laugh at that desire, something that will remain unfulfilled for ages to come! Laughable in other ways too - why pay double for something that's available at throw away prices, at throw away quality, at throw away customer service levels over some unknown e-commerce site? Having done some preliminary research on the net, I found that I'll have to install drivers on my laptop, configure some settings for both the adapter & headset and ensure compatibility between the adapter-laptop and adapter-headset (taking care of v 1.1, 1.2, etc). I believe I'll be able to manage all this to make it all work together, the how seems like a miracle. The question is how much time I have and what is my priority for this sort of thing right now. Being free of wires and being able to walk around while talking on VoIP is definitely a top priority for me right now. But spending many hours just digging up drivers, upgrades, potentially crashing my laptop - that's just not my cup of tea at this stage of life!

It may seem an exaggeration at first that it can be so hard to set right these things & get them working. I did a simple test run to check out these bluetooth headsets. Borrowing from my friend who bought a Sony Ericsson headset which claimed compatibility with my K700i cell, I checked if the 2 of them get along well. Can technology ever work that smoothly? Its simple enough to charge and switch on the headset. But no way on earth would the cell recognise the headset! The headset bought on ebay had no manuals in English - only Swedish, Italian and French. Not that manuals always help. Maybe it was defective. Maybe there was a secret 1 micrometer long switch that I had to press with a needle, looking through a microscope. I could have easily gone to user forums, browsed articles on the net, discussed with users and arrived at a solution. But the whole thing had just turned me off, as I wasn't interested in publishing a research paper on that technology, but merely to use it!

This forms the crux of why companies like Apple make a fortune based mainly on triumph of form over function. There is a huge market for creating devices and software that do just what they're supposed to, with no frills and no surprises, with no steep learning curve. Form over function goes beyond mere aesthetics. Its about intuitive, user friendly interfaces - simplicity is harder to come by than complexities. The best ideas tend to be the most simple - almost too easy to miss. In the area of personal computing, the potential is huge for offering ready made, fully tested, guaranteed to work solutions. Think of a bulb - one is nearly assured in 99% of cases that it will work as advertised, else money is refunded. Installation is dead easy too. For mass markets, that is where the future lies, not in just pushing through sophisticated products that fail to work mostly.

However the price one has to pay is exorbitant. In the lower to middle strata of society, only the people in a country like America have the opportunities to make investments in such geeky gadgets and make it worth their while too. Of course the other advanced countries in the world can definitely buy these - but unless one is very deeply interested in possessing the latest technology, its not worth the cost-benefit analysis. So, for a long time to come, the rest of the world will still be mired in plenty of wires and magazines showing what can be wonderful, easy to use solutions to get rid of them!!!! As for me, I'll invest in a 3m long headphone cable, upgrading from my current 1m cable length!!! :-))

On attachments

When a major decision is taken in life and a certain precious person or object is introduced in life, some thing that one's been waiting for a while it is but natural there is immediately a feeling of closeness and attachment. A zillion times I've learnt how attachment is the root cause of all suffering. There is no need to merely follow scriptures, but experiences both pleasant and unpleasant, bear testimony. Attachment can be to anything in this world - to a person, place, object, habit, event, etc. The learning of all these years will kick in now and I realize the importance of the saying 'yuddha kaale shastrabhyaasa' meaning, 'practising warfare during the war' - impossible to win that way!

Some things in life are transitory and its easy to recognise the pitfalls of such attachments. But why would anyone be convinced that attachment to some 'thing' that will be with you through out your life is bad!! Especially, when its a beautiful thing that brings a lot of joy continuously. It is merely because the mind has to be free always, like a bird in flight guided by the wind and its own whims. The most creative mind filled with life and positive energy is never one existing in bondage. True love and affection cannot flow when there is possessiveness. To mentally let go is a virtue one has to learn even when there is nothing to actually lose, even when something will possibly be with you till the last breath.

There is yet another pitfall from attachment. It leads to a sense of incompleteness. Craving for something or someone only deepens the ignorance that happiness would follow on its acquisition. Hence, there is a sense of helplessness and dependence on something external for joy! One's true nature is perfect and complete in being infinite. Incompleteness however large it might be (say, to include a whole country), is still not infinite/ complete to include everything!

A vast majority of the people in this world never let go as long as the going is good. Only when rudely shaken up after a major loss do they realise their state in shambles. I'm now fully convinced of the importance and relevance of even 'bad' events in life. They shape up the mind, purifying it continuously till it dies a death. If everything in life were to be smooth, which in my opinion never is for any person, then there would be no reason to think about and crave for freedom. There would be no reason to see the light that dispels ignorance.

The mark of a perfected being, one for whom the imperfect mind is totally removed is equanimity. Even the happiest incident (again, classified by some other perspective, or mind) for him brings as much joy as the saddest event. The joy in this case is not the immature and momentary excitement that one feels on getting high on sugar, or other substances, or by being 'in love', but its an all pervading sense of immense ocean like nectar, calm and thoroughly satisfying.

Finally, what's the bottom-line? Give up all attachments irrespective of the object or person in question. Include the body and mind as well & give up attachment to them! Once this is accomplished, everything will be acquired naturally, but funnily enough, nothing will belong to 'you'!

Tapestry of a thousand thoughts

As the sun wakes up in the sky
He stirs me from where I lie.
A series of mundane steps follow
And I get all ready to allow,
Some exercise for my lazy limbs!

As I climb into the field remote & vast,
I'm drawn to things that dont last;
On blades of grass tiny water droplets shimmer
Like diamonds strewn in an emperor's chest.
For the poor man, bits of hope that glimmer;
But treasures that threaten to fleet, lest
Ever present motives of greed simmer!

In the eyes of the mellow mind lies the scenery,
Evoking evanescently rainbow colors of the moods.
A receptacle for the arrows from the greenery,
Finally, no more than thoughts over which it broods!

Of unknown paths and known dreams

There were dire warnings, there were sighs of pity for me. All because I was going to travel alone to unknown but reputedly beautiful lands for 11 days. There were few risks - I'd never before driven a car on the roads here, where strange circles called roundabouts regulate traffic. Despite all this, I set off only with a rented car and my own confidence/ foolishness for company, during which I covered 1600 miles in this small country of conquerors, the size of my state in India.

Planning was sketchy, but the structure proved sufficient. All I'd done was to book bed & breakfast accommodation for all the days and decided where I would stay when. The car was a gigantic, powerful fuel guzzler - large enough to host 6 of me inside. I had plenty of maps, a new GPS, lots of snacks, fruits, water, warm clothing, etc. More than all this, I had too much of advice from well wishers!

I took cruises on lakes, climbed mountains, saw tarns at the top, lots of waterfalls, glens, lochs, marshes, bogs, etc...actually trekking and exploring these routes, being a part of the scenery not a mere spectator. Each day afforded me lots of freedom and time. I would set off in the morning, drive on scenic routes, park my car at the base of some good hiking trail or mountain and just start walking. Thus, I climbed the tallest peak in UK, visited the wettest tarn atop a mountain and saw the most spectacular scenery ever. The journeys were fraught with danger - I wore non marking sneakers where the terrain demanded spiked shoes, carried barely enough water and just peanuts & banana on some of the hikes, had no detailed maps or compass, nor any companion. All I had was the ever present spirit. Many a times I was in so desolate a place that it was beautiful in ways I cannot explain.

Being alone on this trip was the best decision I'd ever taken. As I've written in one of my earlier posts about the difference between being 'alone' and 'lonely', being alone is exhilarating only if one doesn't feel lonely. Fortunately, I've lost the ability to feel lonely (touch wood). There's something about ever new experiences, where memory has no say, where its just the mind and spirit, one watching the other till the mind finally falls silent. Like life itself, there were many paths on the way and little knowledge where they led. I knew where I wanted to go and what sort of experience / scenery I wanted and that guided me. Now and then a kind person turned into a lighthouse beacon. Just like life (again), there were few anxious moments where I was seemingly lost. Not knowing where one has come from and where one is going is one definition of feeling lost. But that is the way we live our life, though we only have a picture of where we 'want' to go.

Eventually the journey planned itself well enough to suit me. The structure that forms my ego in terms of the body and mind, livings its life according to a high level plan called fate with apparent control by the ego - that formed the crux of this trip as well! There wasn't really anything I could have done or avoided that would've made it better. It was enough to have faith and like a dream, it unfolded in the sky of my imagination. It made me financially poorer, but richer in reclaiming the joy that belongs to me always. I saw some more of the 'dream', like seeing the patterns formed by light through the wisps of smoke!

Gudugudiya sedi nodo

The title is a song by Sant Shishunaala Sharif, a 19th century spiritual poet of North Karnataka, South India. This song urges the listener to smoke a Hookah (a smoking pipe) to understand how one should lead life! Open the small cloth bag called mind, pull out the hash called greed/lust, crush it in a chillum called faith and light it with a fire called intelligence, Smoke that Hookah, he says.

I listened to the rendition at Raghudixit Project from where the above paragraph is also taken. Theirs is an upcoming innovative band making news in Bangalore and other parts of India.

The saint is beautifully bringing out the topic I've written about many times in the blog - light up the mind and destroy it. Then will end Maya this illusion that makes up our so called universe, life and everything that goes with the limited existence.

An inspiring visit

Recently due to various circumstances created by my employer and the apathetic Indian Govt., I had the opportunity to visit the great city of London for a few days. I traveled quite a bit around the city during which I visited a few museums - National (art) gallery, British museum, Natural history museum, Royal observatory, National maritime museum! That is a lot of Science, culture, arts and History packed in the limited space of a few days! Being an avid fan of Discovery, National Geographic and such documentary channels this was an intense experience for me, to absorb the knowledge of 1000s of years of research by some of the brightest human beings. Obviously I only skimmed the surface for the most part due to limited time and patience. Yet, I completely felt mesmerized, like a kid watching the night sky for the first time. It was overwhelming many times during this visit... when I felt so out of depth, like a small drop of water gazing at the zillions of rain droplets. I felt I should be a Scientist, working on some abstruse research problem with no care for money or the other aspects of life. Those dreams I once had as a kid resurfaced! I'd often wished to be endowed with super intelligence, to be an ultra genius!

I am truly amazed at the contributions of the human race. More importantly, I'm all the more fascinated by the PRESERVATION and showcasing of these mammoth achievements, something that rarely if ever happens in India. It has taken immense discipline and collective efforts to build such a collection of artifacts over the course of decades, or even centuries. Truly the British are a great race (atleast in this sense) and in some aspects Indians need to be grateful to them for ruling over the country and bequeathing a few useful systems (railways, postal system, ...). However, this is not to say the Indians or any other countrymen are any less, nor does it detract from condoning imperial suppression of cultures.

There is an incredible amount of greatness that comes out of discipline and collective effort, when will powers rarely transgress boundaries. This is the only lesson for India and the rest of the ancient civilizations that were once upon a time the envy of all, but have since fallen way back in terms of 'progress'. Look at the Greek, Indian, Egyptian, Mesopotamian and such civilizations and its clear as vanilla to draw this conclusion. 'Progress' here refers mainly to Scientific and materialistic levels. As for spiritual evolution, nobody knows even about their closest friend, so what can be said about countries? (Religion is not to be mistaken for spirituality).

Anyway, these sort of changes are cyclical. Just like the seasons, the stock market, the tides and all natural phenomenon. So, there will be, like in a sinusoidal wave, a peak point at which the greatness of these other countries will slide down, and like the cosine wave India and other nations will regain their glory. About the period, it might range from centuries to millenniums or more. So, you and me should stop waiting for improvements and simply live life!

7 super resolutions for 2007... & for life!

My new year resolutions for 2007 are fairly straight forward:

1. Breathe: I've lived for nearly 3 decades but am yet to learn how to breathe well. I believe most of us don't breathe the right way all the time. Controlling breathing is the easiest way to control the mind, emotions, intellect, etc. I've never learned pranayama or yogic techniques. But to me it has been obvious that rhythmic, deep breathing using both chest and abdomen to full expansion-contraction holds the key to leading a very healthy life. It not only increases the IQ and EQ tremendously, but brings great joy! In the beginning, this will take a conscious effort but once it gets established as a routine, then breath by breath, this most important resolution will fructify.

2. Positive affirmations: I've made up my mind to constantly affirm positive thoughts... that I'll be extremely healthy, wealthy, wise, intelligent and successful in life. Like the weight of the stone that lets it sink to the bottom despite the currents, these have no choice but to find their mark. I've learned the hard way that being spiritual only means one no longer cares for something materialistic (or, its absence), but its harmful to wish away the material belongings as long as one is still in this world, ie, not a renunciate. A single negative thought that shaped my attitude for a while cost me dearly in financial terms... still does!

3. Work-life balance: I work for 2 companies and have atleast 4 bosses (or key stakeholders). This had led to quite some stress last year. To me, who is always looking for a variety of experiences, with work viewed as 1 aspect of life, it simply wasn't enjoyable. But over time I've discovered that successful people never crib. They effectively manage and enjoy all aspects of life, including tremendous amount of pressures at career too. I'm consciously trying to learn and practice good time-energy-priority management skills. To start with, I'm reading a personal productivity best seller 'Getting things done' by David Allen. Call it self-help or general management, I hope to bring some order into my otherwise chaotic work-life.

4. Read: I want to be very well read, especially in Management related subjects. After long last, I've figured there are only 2 career paths - technical or management - no point being in between. In technical, one needs to get deep down into the bowels of some technology by either going for a PhD or sticking on to a technology for the love of it for long enough that you're the undisputed king. In management, one learns to manage people, finance, companies, strategy, etc to change fortunes. A breadth of knowledge is key here, along with plenty of common sense. With more time freed up thanks to my resolution no. 3, I should be able to comfortably use it for my benefit.


5. Travel: I'm in a foreign land. A beautiful country with a rich History and plenty of multi-cultural experiences to go through. I wish to travel every weekend, atleast on one day within UK and atleast once a quarter to Europe. Again, key to making this come true is resolution no. 3.

6. Exercise: I've felt the extreme thrills that simple pleasures like exercising brings... a rush of blood to the head and heart... a sense of euphoria! Other than the known health benefits, it promotes increased sense of well being and higher energy levels, both mental and physical long after exercising. I plan to jog atleast once a weekday, swim on Saturday and jog on Sunday. When I buy a car, I hope to be able to start playing tennis once again. In a country like India, this would've been real easy. But here, it keeps raining all the time, the temperature drops to 0 deg. outside... and combined with my dislike for indoor exercise/ gymming, I need some special plans to make this work!

7. Eat: This relates to the trouble I've faced due to lack of food.. on which I've written 2 or more posts previously. I've decided its worth the effort to eat healthy, eat good and eat well to keep the body-mind going strong.

These 7 super resolutions are all I need in life. The rest will follow. I will stop making the same 'resolutions' from 2008, since by then with some discipline and will power, I wish to make them an integral part of my attitude... to let them sink into my conscious and sub-conscious mind so they come true of their own accord.

8 long days...

It had been 8 long days since I ate wholesome, home cooked food. I felt like my energy was just being sapped. I felt like a plant withering and shedding all its leaves in the cold dark winter. I felt like a bee sucking water instead of honey, when all the flowers have disappeared.

A lot of activities we do in life is purely based on the pain vs gain principle. You do it if it brings you more gain than pain. Apparently cooking normally brings me more pain than pleasure. All that work in cutting vegetables, cooking, cleaning was simply not worth it. This was fine for 8 days, when I subsisted in the beginning on oil in vegetables in oil..aka curry from a shop. My stomach felt sick and twisted like a wrung cloth! The other days were spent surviving on an apple, banana and a ready to eat chapathi with pickle. In the afternoon at the cafeteria, it would be some cheesy tart, pie or sweetened noodles - lining up the stomach with chocolates as fillers. There was never a sense of being full. I once got up in the middle of the night to get a booster snack, something unthinkable for a sound sleeper like me. Yesterday the pain of the past 7 days made me overeat at an Indian restaurant, where I hogged like a pig on dirt. I then discovered that the food was indeed nothing but dirt when all day I spent with an uneasy stomach.

Enough is enough my mind decided. Ultimately, the pain in surviving without good, healthy food had exceeded the pain taken to cook. I hit the stoves immediately. A busy 70 minutes saw me dishing up some delicacies. Truly, I make no exaggeration when I say I felt like a parched desert wanderer who takes a bath and swig of fresh water in an oasis after nearly dying. In fact, food had always been a major problem, even while I stayed in the land of opportunities. I used to spend days on meagre quantities of fruits and other eatables. Like a moth to the light, I was attracted back to homeland, where there was no necessity to put up a big fight just for 2 square meals a day. How true that we choose our own destiny thanks to the habits and simple pleasures of life, given up for riches and glory.

Hitching the shoe to the feet - an unlikely metaphor!

Marriage is just like buying and wearing shoes. With a bit of imagination and poetic license for prose, it is trivial to understand why.

When I buy shoes, the most important factor for me is comfort. Even if I have to fork out a huge sum, my feet need to feel 'free' and healthy after putting up with the shoe for 10 hours every weekday. Shoes that bite are a strict no-no, though it is said that both the feet and the shoe mould each other to keep one another comfortable over a period of usage. Next is durability and reliability. They need to last me a decent period of time without conking out, like the sole tearing up! The shoes need to look smart and not shoddy. This is more of a passing criteria than an independent factor. If all the other factors are met, it definitely doesn't hurt to have a trendy shoe. However, if the shoe is very stylish, but uncomfortable, then no designer can get my feet to accept the shoe!

In love marriage, the feet falls for the shoe simply because the shoe looks snappy and feels cosy when worn. The feet wears the shoe for short periods of time and thoroughly enjoys the comfort. However, once married (bought), there are unforeseen hurdles ahead. The shoe starts to bite, the toe hurts, the feet stink and cannot breathe. Very rare are the instances when worn shoes can be returned, even in a consumer friendly country like the US :-) (allegory fully intended!). Why did this happen?? Simply because it is hard to judge if the feet would adjust to the shoe and vice-versa, for 10 hrs each day, by just wearing the shoe for 10 minutes each day! Trial version turns out very different from the real-life version. All circumstances are not encountered nor thought of. Even if it turns out there is some discomfort, the thought of parting with such a beautiful shoe is heart breaking!

Live in relationships are like wearing chappals. There are no hassles of the lace to tie. It is easy to slip in and slip out (hahaha..again, allegorical) :-)). The feet don't feel as suffocated nor is there anything firmly keeping the two together. In fact, even if the chappal falls off along the way, there is no telling when it'll be noticed. All this looks fine. But the real challenge is when the going gets tough, the chappal isn't tough enough for a symbiotic protective relationship. When it is freezing out there, when you're treading over leeches, trekking over snow, the feet needs the shoe. In such cases, only a tried and trusted brand would do!!

Finally, in an arranged marriage, one first looks at the cobbler and the kind of shoes he's been producing. One takes a consensus to find out if people who've bought a particular type and brand of shoes have been satisfied. There is a Historical trend comprised of multiple sample points being analyzed to arrive at an informed conclusion. There is obviously a brief moment when the feet does get to try on the shoe - but this is short and fleeting, not at all enough to form a full opinion in the lack of data pertaining to the Historical trend analysis! Not only your feet but your parent's feet also get to try on the shoes (though the size might differ!).
Horoscope of the feet is tallied with that of the foot. This includes dimensions, shape of feet (wide, narrow, etc), shape of shoe (wide, pointed, etc), a time series analysis of the past that predicts for the future how much space the feet need, and how flexible the leather is to accommodate that. Is the shoe made of a kind of leather that is likely to bite feet with dry skin? The feet like to go hiking. Is the shoe capable of withstanding the rigours? What kind of lace is provided... can it tighten to allow speed running and loosen to let the feet breathe?
This is indeed a lot of data collected within a short period of time. The risk appears to be less since one has gone into dissecting the components and structure that make up the shoe, in relation to the anatomy of the feet and its regular activities. All this should make for a rough and tough, reliable shoe, able to protect the feet in rain, shine, snow, wind, and allow total relaxation in the absence of the elements.

Finally, for 100% satisfaction, one needs to become the creator and craft his/her own shoe with the finest leather. But alas, though we create, we're not creators!

.

The title of this blog is barely visible. One needs to concentrate and be fully aware to notice it. Yet it exists, unobtrusively. It is a '.' (dot). Dimensionless and inconspicuous. It can be thought of as being the composition of every single letter or symbol that is printed on paper or screen. When you focus on the letter 'a' for instance, you only see it as 'a' and not as a continuous stream of multiple - infinite - dots. Once the form is noticed, the formless dot disappears. But without the formless dot, it is not possible to create the various forms of writing. The dot in this case becomes what is called the 'adhisthana' - the foundation. The vice versa is interesting too. Once you notice all this is nothing but a series of dots, you then only see dots. Awareness can shift between the form and the formless effortlessly. The dot which is dimensionless is beyond dimensions of space (obviously).

This whole analogy is exactly the maya concept of existence in delusion. Brahman or the unmanifested is like this dot, dimensionless - in fact, beyond space and time too. When creation manifests, it simply becomes the world of numerous forms and figures. This again is explained by the analogy of letters of symbols being formed from a dot. Though always in existence, it is rarely perceived due to a shifted awareness caused by the mind that focus on experiences of the senses and thoughts. For instance, one focuses merely on the words, the meaning of the letter, the script, flow of thoughts in this sentence and so on, without ever going into the core - how each of them came into existence. Once one goes on the other side of maya, it is still possible to see the world as it exists, but it will not be seen independent of its foundation, the brahman. The dream will not disappear but the dreamer becomes aware that it is all his own creation.

Slipping in and out

...of consciousness... coming back to life now and then...

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted

Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but
I took a heavenly ride through one silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

These are lyrics from 'Coming back to life' by Pink Floyd. It is so appropriate to my life as its being lived out now. I feel like a small speck being tossed around by the waves of life. I know not where I'm going. I have vague distant memories of where people tell me I come from. Now and then I have glimpses of what I'm supposed to be doing in my life. I'm told what and who I'm supposed to be. All this makes no sense. For a human being it will. Who started to put the idea into this head that I'm human? Who started to dislodge this mistaken idea?

Hey you, standing in the road
Always doing what youre told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?
Hey you, dont tell me theres no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.

This wall that is spoken of is a mental barrier. The wall is too high for most of us simply because we feel uncomfortable living in completely empty space. Cause without confines we feel that there is nothing we can call our own. If we think there's somebody or someone beyond the wall who can help us, we're mistaken. In togetherness we stand, sit and do everything just the way it should be, divided, we're as good as minutae... always struggling.

Run, rabbit, run
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Dont sit down, its time to dig another one
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.

For, we're all but rabbits digging hole after hole. Digging, filling, filling, digging. There's no end. Just cause the rabbit next hole has a bigger hole. Just cause it works harder and goes deeper. Deep into its own grave.

You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.

There's no time when the secret doesn't exist. There's no time when its too early, but there's always that its too late. Cry for the moon, but know the dark side is your own dark mind. Shine on through till the next moment, revelling in the craze of reflected light, like a diamond that knows no joy but to reflect everything that surrounds it, in a complex fashion unfathomable!

Pink floyd.. they've gone through all the deep complex thoughts most of us go through.. yet, they're enigmas, cause there's beauty in the way they express themselves and strike a resonant cord with all of creation striving for perfection!

Effect of food on the mind

There is a definite link, as I experience time and again. Yet, like a fool I overeat or eat junk food most of the time. Now is a rare instance when it's been 6 hours since I had anything to eat. I am not hungry now, not full either, but feel quite satisfied. As in all things in life, this is a mental game. A few years back I used to watch what hunger really is. It is nothing but the mind creating an urge for filling the stomach, an urge that goes beyond what the body actually needs. For most of us who do not indulge in heavy physical work, the body really needs only 1/3rd of what we consume as food. In fact it is proven (and of course intuitive!) that feeding oneself less than what's considered 'normal' prolongs the life span of cells & delaying ageing. Why is that so hard to believe.. when it's obvious that giving every single cell in the body less work than it needs to do should make them more efficient? Is it because we as humans tend to believe our efficiency is at peak when we're over burdened?

There is a reason why most major religions include fasting as a necessary act of purification both mental and physical. Here, when I'm away from home it is indeed very hard to eat healthy. The food that I eat makes me nauseated at times - for instance greasy pizzas, cheese filled pot roasts.. the list is yuck in terms of healthy mind-body, but tasty for the tongue! Today I'm observing my own state in this experiment - the mind is able to think very clearly, there are no random thoughts, there is peace, a sense of being an intelligent being and so on. As I write this blog, the thoughts are flowing very smoothly like a stream that's used to doing what it does best - flow! It does of course help that I had an afternoon nap of 3 hours that totally boosted the energy of this time-space coordinate. That sleep was amazing... there was such a great feeling of flying.. of being flight rather than an object in flight :-). During my periods of reducing food consumption, I'd also noticed that together with a bit of silence and contemplation, the clarity of thought is so great that you are able to take decisions even on topics that you know nothing about. For instance, when you're in an area where you need to choose between 3 roads... in such a state you end up making the right choice at a rate that disproves mere coincidences. As it is widely known in the world of duality, everything, each minute object is coloured by gunas or qualities classified into sattva, rajas and tamas, or more commonly good or bad. When one eats sattvic food, for instance fruits, the energy concentrated in the body-mind becomes refined enabling one to drawing closer towards killing the ego-mind and opening up infinite possibilities. Thus, the breathing which again is intimately linked to the mind becomes very deep and rhythmic as well. With the stomach not over working trying to digest food, abdomenal breathing becomes natural.

I hope to ensure this strict regimen, but discipline is lacking. Its hard to come by in a foreign country, far away from home with lots of restrictions! But, I'll keep striving...

Suffering due to computers :-(

I am currently suffering a lot from repititive stress injury. Why did it happen to me instead of the zillions who're working just fine with computers? I really don't know.. it's not that I work too many hours or in crappier conditions than others. It's just like any disease that strikes few people & leaves few unharmed.

When I rotate my right wrist, I hear too many sounds.. ones that my left wrist doesn't make.. & sounds that I know are due to this reason cause I feel distinctly a loss of flexibility & rigidity in movement that is unnatural. I have a small bump on the top of my wrist.. a swelling that has appeared very recently. Sometimes I feel a pain in my arm and beyond the elbow as well. Sometimes my hand quivers when I hold a cup after working all day at the computer. Many a times my mind wants to work & produce results.. but my body does not comply. Then all I do is sit idly & look outside.

I've tried many positions, read up a bit about ergonomics. But its not been of much use. Nothing seems to really help like taking a semi-permanent or permanent break.

My entire future may be at stake due to this injury. I know there isn't really any cure. Most people cant even imagine that computers can do this to you. Most doctors think its preposterous. I may never be able to write blogs. Never again check emails. Never keep in touch with friends. Never be able to work or earn a decent salary. Never buy anything online or improve my knowledge. Its pitiable that ebooks are coming up. That assignments even for school kids are nowadays all computer related. Its worse in advanced countries where the move is to even use computers for buying groceries to watching favourite tv programs online. In fact, I can hardly think of any profession that doesn't use computers. Even doctors these days are forced to read voluminous tomes on the computer. It is only due to lack of facilities like in a third world country that some profession might not mandate use of computers!

Then again, all this may sound like exaggeration. Maybe it is to a certain extent when I prophesize a gloomy future due to this ailment. But I do know my arms and hands really ache & nerves tinge even as I type this.

I just hope the day is not too far when speech recognition which has been going on for decades is finally perfected. I just hope we can control the computer without making contact with the keyboard or mouse. Just like Tom Cruise controls the computer in Minority report (or is it MI?). But I'm no Tom Cruise, life is no movie & my faith in technology hasn't kept pace with my imagination about what it should do in future. It is eroded when I see that inspite of computers being around for decades, they're yet to make ergonomic I/O devices. It took many years just to get an optical mouse that doesn't need cleaning like carpet with dust. At the high end, there are many advances, but in a company like mine we still use mouse with cords, with balls that need cleaning (LOL)... there's a big disconnect between mass produced consumer goods at reasonable rates & high end research that is done merely to get grants...anyway.. this is digressing from the main topic :-)

In the end, this is just a dream, like everything else. Only way to avoid a nightmare is to dream consciously of pleasant events...!

Barriers

I'm facing a major barrier in my life. No, its not any wall. Nor is it any mental or physical block. It's the great language barrier. Most of my friends out here converse in Hindi, supposedly the national language in India. They expect me to know it well enough to converse fluently. Little do they know its dismal penetration down south. We hardly studied anything beyond the alphabets. Hardly saw Hindi movies. Given my poor language capabilities, I've been finding it tough to fluently participate in rapid fire conversations ever since my regional engineering college days. I've had to forsake many many friendships due to this handicap. No matter what, the best jokes, best secrets in any conversation will rarely be clarified or translated. I've tried to change it, occasional efforts to master Hindi. But , it never happens... no concentrated efforts, nor friends totally engrossed in Hindi for continuous company. It seems to happen more when you're away from home.. whether home is defined as the country or the state! Happens all the time when people are in a big group & you're the odd one out. Happened during my YHAI trek to the Himalayas. Wonder when it will stop. Wonder when humans will master the art of telepathy, which by the way I know is true, nothing beyond imagination. Till then, no progress is real progress.

Deepavali again!

Here it is.. that time of the year when you NEED to burst all the crackers you want, throw advice to the wind and just have a ball, without caring for neighbours, environmentalists or child labourers - all in this context only. On their own, these issues merrit enough attention to last a lifetime of course.

I'm much less lucky this year. I can do all the above. But, if I did, I would be in jail for sure. Because, I'm in a country where people follow rules, rules made not by Indians, but by the white man who once reigned superior over our country. Nevertheless, celebration in spirit will not stop. On the cards is an extravagant pot luck dinner, puja and few 'lights' only crackers that go high up into the sky, at a friends place. It will be interesting for sure. Somehow, this place doesn't seem as far removed from 'home' as the US. It is largely due to the high density of population in towns.. some what similar to Indian cities. Plus the huge Asian influence and plenty of Asians all around. 'Curry' is indeed more common here than 'steak' :-)

Wish you all a very merry Deepavali!

May the crackers light up your life,
And the flame turn to cinder all troubles,
Leaving nothing but traces of smoke,
That disappear into nothingness,
Blown away by the winds of the future,
Freshly brewed, in its own moment!

The wise one sayeth...

"When you learn to swim in the deep ocean, you enjoy the shallow pool as well"

This pretty much sums up my personality and how I live.

It's important to note the opposite as well "When you learn to swim in the shallow pool, you will be frightened to death of the deep ocean" which is how most of the people live life...learning to swim in the shallow pool!

The great leveller

I had many friends in school and college who used to really struggle to get through even the simplest of subjects. Today, they're all doing extremely well, which is rather surprising. In college, perhaps not all subjects were easy enough or the students didn't pay enough attention. But in primary and high school, I got to observe some of these people in great detail over a number of years and have to claim my judgement was quite accurate. There were others who were really smart all through, but they're doing equally well in most cases. Not far far better as expected.

So, there is a great leveller that has worked over the period of time, like the storm that flattens everything in its path, big or small, beautiful or ugly. It is attitude, hard work and to some extent fate (don't want to get into that debate about fate vs free will now) that must have brought about this change. I also attribute this to the IT, ITES and other such industries that provide umpteen opportunities without really needing much of creativity or lateral thinking. They need solid workers, dedicated to specialized tasks, like a manufacturing industry robot in the assembly line. I've heard of a few cases that stand out, of people known to us who took 10 yrs to complete their phd. They're the ones now heading Education & research depts. at global IT majors! Phew!

This scenario is a huge contrast to our previous generation. When jobs were limted to Govt. organizations and opportunities abroad and awareness levels were much lower, differentiation between the bright and not so bright would be clearly seen. The smart ones got into Govt. R&D jobs or academic institutions for teaching. The not so fortunate ones got enrolled into more mundane professions.

Today however, most people blindly pursue engineering to come out as zombies and get into run of the mill software jobs. That is where the beginning of the end of differentiation of intellectual levels starts. Other factors work their magic over a long period... things like taking the right decisions, EQ, being opportunistic, knowing the right people, belonging to the right caste/region and so on.

What is the conclusion then? People must evaluate their intellectual level and get into suitable professions. Today nobody needs to despair. Even the dumbest can get to be the CEO of a top company. The smartest might end up writing lines of code all his life, impacting some obsolete legacy system somewhere.

Life... the great leveller :-)

New dreams...

The first few days seemed like a dream. I had absolutely no hard memory of my previous life in India. My home, family, friends and everything else seemed like clouds in the sky that are visible, yet not tangible somehow. Maybe it was the jet lag, but I doubt it. I guess this is the same feeling most people experience when they travel to new places. To say the least, it is blissful and exactly what liberation feels like. Just that liberation doesn't depend on any physical movement of this sort. Before new memories and connections get formed, before old memories come haunting back, this is going to continue and I'll be enjoying it totally :-)

Potpourri of experiences

This is my last post from Bangalore for a while, as I head to fulfill the great Indian dream of representing the country abroad, going ‘onsite’… a term more common than ondu, eradu, mooru in Bangalore today!

Here’s what I look forward to in UK:
Great work & a lot of learning
Good quality of life, including air
Short commute
Great pubs, restaurants, dance clubs and hang out places
Week end travel
Holiday travel (if any) to Europe or other distant places
Lack of too many people, thereby silence
Get to make some moolah
New experiences, new people, new sights, sounds, smells and thoughts basically sum these up!

Here’s what I’ll miss about Bangalore:
Family and friends
Good, home made food
Long hours playing tennis in the mid day sun

It goes without saying that these are for the most part mutually exclusive lists.
When I summarize thus, there’s a stark contrast and it appears that Bangalore has almost nothing to offer. This is true, not an exaggeration. Other than family, friends and a ‘comfort zone’ there is nothing much else here. But these things weigh in heavily when you stay away for long periods (ever heard about settled abroad phrase?). Right now, there’s a very different feeling compared to my past when I was based in the US. Now the base is India, and that makes a huge difference. Thankfully, there’s no such thing as settling in one place for the global traveler in me.