Times they are a changin'

There used to be a time when friendships meant spending time together – hanging out, going out or simply walking around. These days most of my friends are either engaged or married. Thus, they hardly find even 5 minutes a week to catch up. This is an alarming trend in my view. Being totally closeted with only 1 person all the time is fine for a while. It may even be necessary in the beginning – a necessary evil. It might be an addiction to 1 person, a direct consequence of being in love. But eventually, there is the necessity to bond with a larger set of people, to expand your horizons, ideas and experiences.

Some of my friends might think the same fate awaits me once I get hitched. I know that will not be the case! In fact, I do have other friends who socialize as a couple, not in isolation. That’s definitely the way to be!

I’ve observed this habit among most couples who’re newly coupled. In the hostel too, the guy who used to be in love with the girl took on shades of the girl. He missed out totally on every other happening in the guy’s block. He knew all about what’s going on in the girl’s block (GB)!

This might be common among couples in love or doing the courtship routine. That is fine, since it only lasts for a brief period. But for married folks, this disturbing trend cannot continue for long, since marriage is a lifetime event. In my parents’ days, I’d observed that there was a healthy socializing among friends. Today’s world has changed perhaps for the worse. Maybe girls today are too demanding and attention seeking. It could be the result of long hours spent away from home either working or commuting. It could be the influence of Western society, where people have to actually ‘work’ to keep their marriage intact. It could be all that bull shit about ‘personal space and time’. What ever it is, the dynamics are against traditional Indian set up of society.

Another incidence showcasing the same is: How many of you actually call friends & family before visiting them? It’s fine to call to check if they’re home. But calling to check if they’re ‘free’ to meet… that’s unheard of. Guests used to always be welcome at home. In my house, they still are, even with changing times. The surprise element of meeting a long lost friend who just turns up at home is gone. Thanks in part to SMS, cell phones, Orkut & such non personal means of networking.

A post a day keeps the blues at bay!

A lot of friends have been reading my blog. They had nice things to say & urged me to continue writing, though I don't think a lot of posts make sense to the majority :-). I would like to see all my friends start a blog - it doesn't matter if one is a talented writer. A blog helps to keep in touch both with the physical & mental coordinates.

I never knew many of them even knew about the existence of my blog! I can only track no. of visitors per day & guess about who might be reading it, based on some statistics. The only way to make it interactive is if people start posting comments. I also took some pains to ensure this remains semi-anonymous. Those who know me personally know about my blog. But its unlikely somebody searching for me out of the blue will chance upon this! I dont think my identity is important, just the ideas & their effective communication to an audience. Though, I can safely say that I write nothing that I wouldn't want to own up to!

Dreams that can never come true

These are days when the dream character is engrossed & believes in being a part of the dream. This post is the time when the character is writing, yet knowing the existence of a mere dream of which he’s a part of. This is cryptic as can be. Yet, to the knowers, it makes complete sense.

Ganesha says…

Ganesha says ‘a travel is on the cards for some, health & marriage for some others & few students might need to study’ – thus goes most weekly astrological predictions in papers & magazines … funny to say the least :-)

Well, for me the 1st prediction is coming true… finally! After returning from the US almost 3 years back, I never wanted to come back ‘for good’. There’s no fun in being static, either in the US or in India, especially at this age when the whole world begs to be visited! Nor is there any fun earning just a pittance in India. Cutting to the facts, I’m off to Bristol, UK next week & will be gone till the end of the year. There is no saying that it won’t get extended till the end of 2007!

All said & done, there is a slight reluctance too, to let go of things so familiar & venture into the unknown, even though things are easily 'known' in today’s age of the internet. This reminds me of the story of the crab that just wouldn’t let go of the rock it was hanging on to, missing out on the joy ride with the river! This crab is hanging on only very mildly & the currents are strong. Fortunately, other adventurers have expressed delight in their exploits… so lots to look forward to :-)

For those of you lucky & bored enough to read this, I’ll still be available via good old gmail. Adios (very soon!).

Best plans are never made

A good traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving - Lao Tze.
This pretty much summarizes my life these days. I don't know where I'm headed. All I know is that I'm enjoying this moment.

The answer my friend, is blowin in the wind!

Yet, I'm unable to receive it.

It's been ages since I posted anything to my blog! The point to note is majority of my previous posts came about when I was bored at work! The most creative of them were conceived when I was least busy with work & free to dream.

Now, things have changed completely. For the better in terms of a long term career, but in terms of creative posts, that might take a back seat :-). It's amazing how there's a lot to say when the mind is empty, but when you're occupied, then thinking about what to say leads to the writer's block. It's hard to imagine how daily syndicate columnists, especially cartoonists come up with terrific material under pressure.

Also, now a days I’m back to being a prisoner of the mind for the most part. Gone are the wonderful poetry & realizations, simply because no longer am I pondering or seeking them. They can be brought back, but this phase of life requires that I be just like a ‘normal’ human being with desires & ambitions. So be it. Just like everything else, this too is a phase & it too will pass for the greater good.

If you ever knew

If you ever knew,
Who I am
Where I come from
Where I go,
Would you still talk to me?
Would you still look at me,
The way you do?
If I ever knew,
Who I am,
Where I come from,
Where I go,
I would no longer
Talk the way I do
Walk the way I do
Behave the way I'm supposed to.
In this very knowing,
Let us come together
In a world,
Where looking, talking,
Is nothing but useless!
Where seeing is not believing,
Where believing is not seeing!
Cause, when you know,
I know!
When it is known,
You and me become unknown!

A void, ever full

Why's it
That presence is celebrated
Like the petals you wish to touch,
And absence is abhored,
Like the leper you don't wish to touch?
Why's it
That death is mourned
When all it does is break
All ties that bind one
To thee Universe of material and mind
Why's it
That birth is celebrated
When all it does is bind
One to all that one calls his own,
Like the spider that binds it's prey
In a web of deceit all it's own!
Strange are the ways of man,
Seeking to escape from the dream
That he spends all his life fuelling,
To finally realize,
That dreams have no choice,
But to come true!
Like the slave bound to his master,
Like the snake bound to it's skin,
Like the caterpillar bound to it's pupa,
Why's it
That so few are led by the truth,
And so many are led by the false
Strange indeed are the ways,
Of this self fulfilling dream,
Which is all I've ever known!
O fool,
Celebrate absence,
Of all you've ever known
Mourn the presence,
Of all you'll ever know!

Winds of change

My new year resolution finally came true. It took me nearly 2 years to break down the barriers I'd put around me. When I first relocated to India, I was averse to working in the software/ IT industry, primarily because I had a Masters, journal publication, research experience and so on - merely reasons to convince others. But the real reason was, I didn't want to be one among the masses and was fearful of total disrespect the industry has for work-life balance. Over the past 2 years there has been a change of heart though the conditions haven't really changed externally. Opportunities for research are still very limited in Bangalore, especially in the private sector. Those that really do great r&d don't recruit a non-PhD, the vice-versa being true too. Thus, I'd been caught unawares belonging to neither group fully. I had merely followed the stream of events that led me to specialize in an obscure branch of knowledge that is quite unmarketable without core software skills! On careful analysis of my personality, I found that I'm not even the type that can dedicate decades to solving one single problem, which is the profile of a true researcher. That being said, I thoroughly enjoyed the past few years in research.

There have been a lot of learnings from this job, which I'll soon be done with. Setting time bound goals is crucial. This necessitates creating desires artificially, even if I don't feel like it. All this is due to the mad rat race & fiercely competitive environment. In a running race, if you take the break to enjoy the scenery, you not only don't finish among the top, if there're too many people running frantically, you also run the risk of being run over in a stampede! The other important take away is to always be diplomatic. Never express what's on your mind instantly, however important & urgent you think it is. Always hide your true intentions, at the cost of putting on a mask. Even if you're stabbing somebody with a knife, the person should feel you're doing him a favor. After all, the life that one leads isn't remotely related to one's true nature anyway. The other lesson is to give the higher-ups a great impression of oneself, even if it is as mundane as staying late just to appear busy and the 'hard-working' type. Of course, true worth will always shine through, but why make things tougher by being modest! My favorite quote here is 'perception is reality to that person'. How true! If only everybody understood this, there would never be any quarrels. Some of this runs contrary to the intuitive feeling of what constitutes highly ethical and moral behavior (sathwick qualities). As long as the intentions are good & there is a solid inner spiritual strength, these will merely be like flakes of snow melting in the sun.

All in all, there are no regrets whatsoever, only a multitude of experiences. I've immensely enjoyed the journey so far, even if it means branching off to alien lands now. I have created concrete desires which might seem too ambitious, but like the heavy stone sinking to the bottom without getting carried by the current, these will eventually hit their mark. Once you hold something as accomplished in your mind and believe very firmly in it, it is merely a matter of time before it actually happens. This approach combined with the Bhagavad Gita philosophy of detaching yourself from actions and not craving for results is a great way of balancing material progress with spiritual growth.

How to bring a city to it’s knees!

Last Wednesday was a fateful day for Kannadigas & Bangaloreans. Dr.Rajkumar, the ever-green super star of Kannada filmdom (Sandalwood!) passed away peacefully. But the rest of the story was far from peaceful. People turned up in large numbers to bid adieu to their idol and on the way decided to have some sadistic fun. What followed was total chaos, death and destruction. The sense of security of people used to living in cocoons was shattered. The entire incident is just a huge magnification of the chaos and destruction that happens daily in the city, though not in a collected fashion. While the barbaric acts are certainly not to be condoned, it is time the causes are understood more clearly, rather than focusing entirely on the trigger. There will be more such incidents in the future since the causes lie dormant, like a volcano waiting for a small fissure to erupt in all it’s fury.

The city of Bangalore is like a huge system that needs many functional sub-units to keep it going. It is similar to a living being, albeit one diseased in body & depressed in mind. Imagine snatching a favorite toy permanently away from a possessive & depressed child of great strength. Toys come and go & snatching keeps happening, but a permanent cure is to uproot the disease itself! What ails the city? That’s the easiest question that the auto-driver can answer as well as the Harvard educated businessman! There is deep-rooted simmering discontent about what the unplanned growth (IT or otherwise) has done to the city. The quality of life has decayed terribly. There is a wide chasm between the haves and the have-nots. The haves take home tens of thousands of rupees every month & are rarely exposed to the atmosphere, while the have-nots take home tens of thousands of rupees over the course of a decade & toil from the mid-day sun to the midnight moon for a simple meal. Kannada has taken a back seat so much so that speaking the language is considered shameful in many posh settings. There is also the larger issue of lack of public idols. The masses rarely have an individual in a position of power that they can look up to and aspire to emulate. This is a direct fallout of the corrupt system entrenched with money laundering politicians.

Well, what can be done then? Proactive and wise developmental plans have to be set in motion and completed on time. Reservation and such hare-brained ideas have to be shelved. Judicial system with corrupt rotten judges has to be revamped. Focus has to shift on improving the life of common people without neglecting high-end development. There is a long wish list that’s easier said than done. While my complete sympathies rest with the people affected adversely, this sort of thing will continue to happen. The system gets what it gives. The law of karma is brutal and operates collectively too. As such, I have no sympathies for the system, of which I too am a part, but not in a position of influence or power to do much about it!

A trip divine

Suddenly on a Thursday afternoon I decided to make a trip all alone for 2 days to Sringeri. There was vehement opposition from home - perhaps they suspected, as they have in the past that I might get swayed away from the so called 'normal' accepted life that humans live. When I informed my friends while on the trip that I had gone alone, sympathies poured in from all over. It was considered unthinkable that a person would travel alone. This is attributed to the confusion most people have between being alone and being lonely. Alone & not feeling lonely is the most wonderful state of being, especially in silence & contemplation. Lonely is the worst state known to the human mind & affects a large number of people especially in advanced countries. If you cannot enjoy being alone, you'll never enjoy with anybody else, be it humans or pets or in exotic locations. On the other hand, one can be lonely even in the midst of a bustling crowd, lots of friends & relatives and so on. Being comfortably alone arises from a state of compeleteness, of oneness with all of existence. Being lonely arises from the ego, from the sake of wanting someone or something to feel complete & this is totally natural since ignorance hides the real nature of the self that includes all.

Coming back to the subject, Sringeri is one of the four mutts founded by none other than Adi Shankaracharya. Take a look at their website at
http://jagadgurus.org/ . Since then, the unbroken lineage of Jagadgurus have drawn scores of people who come in search of solace or just to witness a confirmed jnani! The whole place appeals so much since it has temples, a river, some forests, plenty of space to sit in silence and is rarely crowded except on special occasions. This becomes especially important, since most temples these days are heavily crowded and noisy. To get to a silent place, you need to travel far away & get into one of the upper-class resorts in the jungle. But here, one need not fork out princely sums and book months in advance to have a decent roof over the head. One need not go in search of exotic restaurants for some great piping hot food. There is even a patha-shaala (vedic school) in the traditional Gurukula mode imparting Vedic education to many enthusiastic disciples of all ages. In the evenings, one can listen to the melodious strains of Karnatic classical music. The puja, chanting and the whole atmosphere transports one to the mythical times that we've only heard or read about, provided you keep the mind calm & free of worries about what's happening back home!

All in all, an amazing experience. I wouldn't want to go there with anybody but my self :-). I wouldn’t want to listen to anybody, but the silence of my heart.

Pleasurable vagaries

Millions of stars start to wink at me,
Beckoning me to the abode with no boundaries.
The rabbit leaps out of the moon
Smiling graciously at my mundane existence,
Beckoning me to come frolic on a land
That promises fantasy and more.
The night sky appears in its regal splendor
Bedecked like an emperor out on a roll,
Like the way it was meant to be.
Noise from idle distractions waft no more
Finally, one can hear the sound of a trillion thoughts
That makes thee mind numb with fright!
Some think the silence is deafening;
Like the way it was meant to be.
The pure elements bask in their own light
Making one frolic as a lamb with no plight!
Like the way it was meant to be.
O, what a glorious night this is,
May the KEB power Gods heed my prayers,
To bestow on me in all their kindness,
Darkness and silence night after night!

Astrology - Science or pseudo-science ?

This is one of the most common debates..something that one can never convince somebody on the other side of the fence. Most people are sitting on the fence regarding this issue. Even before delving into pros & cons, we need to have a clear understanding of what 'Science' really means to us. As commonly accepted, it is a set of laws based on observation of phenomenon & characterized using a formal methodology which we call as Mathematics. Inherently, what you can express in words is limited by the language you use. So also is the case with Science, often limited by the observable phenomenon & the Mathematical conjectures developed over 1000s of years. What if the formal body of knowledge had come to be defined in a different way ? Would that have changed our concept of accepted beliefs ?

One of the foundational reasons why we call some conclusion Scientific is usually because of the certainty we associate with it. I feel I know with 100% conviction that the apple that detaches itself from the tree will fall only down & not up. In practice, every prediction is probabilistic, always lying between 0 & 1, but never either of these. It is on this premise that Astrology can be called a Science, albeit a probabilistic one, just like anything else. Now it becomes much easier to understand that perhaps some planet somewhere has an effect, however small on us.

There is a much deeper significance to astrology. The planetary system is a macro-cosmic model of the human micro-cosm. The planets relate in some way to the chakras, subtle sources of energy as yet un-discovered by mainstream Science. Everything in the Universe being interconnected in some way, it is not preposterous to assume this just because the laws of interaction are unknown! By themselves they have neither a good nor a bad effect. However, what they do is to activate the karmic tendencies already present in the psyche. I’ve been amazed by the accuracy with which the astrologer can predict your nature & the past without any prior information.

Some pointers to astrology is the chapter from “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramhansa Yogananda discussing this subject in depth. This book, by the way is my all time favorite read & it’s what got me started & interested in self-discovery.

Finally, information is constantly present in the universe. It is up to us to make sense of it & apply it to the task at hand. That is all astrology does – provide a means where information can be meaningfully interpreted. I say this from a simple experience. It was in the back of my mind for past few days to buy additional stock of bathing soap, but I kept forgetting. Yesterday, while on the bus back home, I saw this ad. for soap & it suddenly reminded me to do the needful! All the ad. did was to activate the intent for action already at the back of my mind. So do the planets & the horoscope is merely capturing details of that! All this is in a probabilistic sense as I mentioned earlier!

Some workdays

These days that slip by so slowly
That I feel like a snail on the track of time
Unable to move any faster on this long journey
Seeing others move by faster than I can blink
All I can do is find many ways to think
Of ways to escape this drudgery that haunts me
Everything around me is so still
It feels like eternity has descended on this moment!

Riders on the storm

Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Into this house we’re born
Into this world we’re thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out on loan
Riders on the storm

This is the first stanza from the song 'Riders on the storm' by Doors. It's a wonderful song & you probably need to be doped to get the full effect. Else you need to be philosophical to begin to understand its implications. Actually, it's quite simple. I had no control over which body to take on, which family to be born into, the part of the world to be born into, what kind of intellect/mind etc to possess. Coming to think of it, these are THE defining factors that're shaping the course of this life, which I sometimes think is mine. If I had absolutely no control whatsoever on these super critical factors, then how much control do I really have on daily activities & other more significant events? It's a chilling reality check on all of us who keep spending the present making plans for the future!

Wishful desires

Living a life where you're constantly evaluated, compared & dissected w.r.t others in your category is no fun. But that's the sort of life most of us lead or are forced to lead. It's a rat race, especially in the highly competitive corporate world, where there's no altruism, hardly any friendship (really!) & a carrot hanging in the front & stick behind the back! I for one know in my heart of hearts (whatever that is!) that all I desire is a life of quietude with no responsibilities, no goals, living with nature & just experiencing the joy of being one with everything. I'm still waiting for that day, when I can break free of all shackles, though I'm very much aware every bondage is only in the mind. A life of renunciation from the world! Some call it escapism, but truly, there's no need to prove your so called 'self' (as in yourself), simply because most people aren't even aware of their true self, always mistaking the body-mind complex to be that! Besides, aren't we all escapists in some sense or the other? We're striving hard to escape from the troubles of living, be it noise, pollution, troubled relationships, financial hassles..always trying to move to a physical, emotional, monetary or other plane that we perceive to be higher than our present! Perhaps that's a negative way of looking at it, but it all boils down to a pain vs pleasure weighing act. What better escape is there than to break free from the notion of being an entity limited in time-space?! I now realize that's the very important goal of all difficulties...to know that there's a place where everything is you, nothing is desired, all is bliss, lasting forever...something the mind just leaps with joy even at the very mention of, but becomes sad thinking no such existence is even possible!

Moments...

The only way to live life,
Is moment by moment,
Making no comparisons,
Thinking of everything in life
As the best possible
For me at that moment!

All roads lead to...

There are many paths to the infinite (in reality there is only the infinite, no ignorance & no need for any of this. But the ignorant have a different perspective). Most well known among them are the bhakti, jnana and yoga margas. Bhakti is well suited for highly emotional people. Jnana follows the art of discrimination & constantly watching the mind. Yoga deals with controlling the mind through various psycho-physical exercises. It is not merely a matter of choice in choosing these paths, but rather, every individual depending on his tendencies at different points of time falls in line predominantly with one of these. It is hard to argue or compare benefits of each of these paths. But the result & goal of all are the same, to get beyond the mind & the physical and thereby realize that all is one. In yoga, one focuses on raising the kundalini to the sahasrara chakra. In bhakti one completely surrenders ones ego to a higher power. In jnana, one constantly discriminates between the real and the unreal. So here too, for instance on self enquiry, the kundalini would rise up, the ego gets destroyed, but the focus is not on these means! Some of the well known spiritual leaders who followed & advocated the bhakti path are Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Chaitanya & the followers of the various dieties like Krishna. Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj are the proponents of the self enquiry mode. The Yoga masters are numerous, such as Paramhansa Yogananda, Swami Vivekananda, AOL founder Sri Sri Ravishankar. What I've found is that Jnana or discrimination alone becomes too dry & unemotional while Yoga & Bhakti add a lot of spice or adventure to the process. This is in the form of visions, siddhis & such accompaniments. At the same time, both yoga & bhakti pre-suppose or force you to acknowledge & live in duality. There is then a constant anticipation that something has to be done to attain liberation! This sort of dichotomy alone accounts for ignorance. Also, yoga or meditation & prayer are usually time bound activities requiring one to dedicate a certain period for this. Discrimination on the other hand can continue during all sorts of normal routines. One may argue that only a clear & purified mind is capable of self enquiry or discrimination, which is quite true. Perhaps that is one of the main reasons bhakti & yoga are advocated for the corrupt kali-yuga! There is no debate or conclusion here, but personally, I prefer to stick to all the paths in some form or at certain periods. Once a deeper understanding is gained, it is seen that these are all complementary & not really competitive paths!

HaHaHa :-))

This is simply too hilarious. Do not look for deeper meanings, sect bashing or even try to follow any of these. Just LOL or ROFL till your guts ache. That's chat lingo for rolling on the floor with laughter.

Here's the link to brighten your day or night:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/elsewhere/journalist/story/0,,1688285,00.html

Idling

Am just really bored today. There have been many occasions when I've been listless, aimless & just wandering around. This used to happen more often when I was an under-grad engineering student. These days, such occasions are much fewer & farther between.

In such instances, I don't even feel like focusing & reading general articles on the web. It's as if the energy tank has run dry, or rather, the plumbing to supply energy to the activities of the mind-body isn't that efficient. Surprisingly, the stress level is also higher than when there's just sufficient work to do!

As for the causes - there might be many. Biorhythm fluctuates through the day. Food plays a crucial part in making one feel energetic. Things in the back of the mind can sap the energy on a sub-conscious level. Breathing pattern is different at such times, usually shallow. Lack of enthusiasm & motivation targeted specifically at an outcome can be a sympton hard to identify. Though it looks quite easy to fix this, a combination of the innumerable causes combine to render most remedies useless.

Thank God for 8-hour workdays. Pray for Europe-like 35 hr workdays with siesta thrown in ;-) Is it hard to guess that I'm all for Bertrand Russell’s 'In praise of idleness’? Read this here -
http://www.zpub.com/notes/idle.html